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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Sunday, May 09, 2021
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The trailer home Kelly thought she was getting.

Girl who lives out of van to “find herself” is disappointed

All articles featured in Almanac are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Kelly Penelope Bartholomew-Stevens, a self proclaimed travel blogger, explained that while other trips have been funded by her family and instagram base off her pyramid scheme business, that this trip was “supposed to be different.”

After “days” of preparation for her journey across “SoCal” that included “binging cute netflix documentaries and youtube channels” of their own experiences with traveling through the United States in luxury RVs. She set out for her journey as the sun was still bright but quickly realized it was nothing like what she expected.

“I really like, didn’t think it was going to be that hard to be honest. Don’t like, a ton of people live out of their cars? lol,” she explained. She said that while she achieved her mission to find herself, she experienced many hardships along the way.

“I had to like sleep on my non- tempurpedic mattress and I didn’t have cute travel companions like the other girls in the travel vlogs, so I had to do all 7 hours of driving myself.”

She explained that the worst part of the journey was when she realized she stopped to hike at a popular destination and found that her $2,500 Go Pro camera was malfunctioning.

“I had to record the vlog on my iPhone 11 pro … Like an animal,” she said, clearly exasperated.

“Let’s just say I was excited to head back to my house in the hills in the end so I could go to a real travel bloggers destination- Phoenix!”

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