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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, May 26, 2022
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Sad, ugly coronavirus sheds a tear after reading millions of hate comments.

Coronavirus participated in the ‘until tomorrow’ Instagram challenge and it’s sups embarrassing

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

The “until tomorrow” challenge has taken Instagram by storm, but before long, activity on the app hit a standstill when @covid_19 joined in on the trend. 

The challenge asks users to put a funny or embarrassing photo with the caption “until tomorrow” on their profile for 24 hours. Anyone who likes a post of this sort is then challenged to do the same. 

@covid_19 was beyond excited when his close friend, @influenza_a, injected the silly new trend into their direct messages, calling @covid_19 to action.

“Ugh! I was just so excited,” @covid_19 said. “To be honest, I was kind of feeling like an outsider there for a little bit, what with all those ‘until tomorrow’ posts in my feed. Surely everyone thought I was a friendless loser having not yet shared one myself.” 

Even better, @covid_19 had just the perfect photo for the challenge. After all, they had just landed in Chicago from Italy and had to go through customs. Automated Passport Control kiosks aren’t known for taking the most flattering photos, especially after a nine hour airplane flight spent trying to dodge every other passenger’s effort to disinfect everything in sight. 

Additionally, @covid_19 didn’t have much warning or prep time for their customs photo. With no time to smooth their lipid envelope or to coif their glycoprotein, the final snapshot was simply hilarious! 

Needless to say, their glycoprotein were flopping all over the place. There were uncovered pimples all over their nucleocapsid protein, and their lipid envelope was wrinkled … but the worst part? A strand of RNA leaked from their behind like a long stream of poo.  

“You definitely wouldn’t think I’m a looker based on this photo,” @covid_19 chuckled, shaking their head. “But it made for a perfect ‘until tomorrow’ post!” 

But when the picture was uploaded, people weren’t laughing. In fact, it received zero likes and numerous hateful, threatening comments like “you aren’t cute,” “just wait until we have a vaccine!!” and “ahhh you ugly ass!” 

“It was kind of just … awkward,” an Instagram official said. “I don’t really know why @covid_19 thought they were welcome to join in on the trend, but when they did, it was kind of like inviting that weird guy who lives alone at the top of the hill, and who everyone secretly hates, to the neighborhood barbecue.”

Instagram users have protested his presence in the lighthearted challenge, and the social media platform in general, by refusing to post photos or engage with the app in any way until the company deletes @covid_19’s profile or @covid_19 deletes their own profile. 

“Literally no one likes @covid_19, such a freaking loser,” Instagram user @fckcrn said. “And, @covid_19, if you’re listening, here’s one more thing: *** ***** **** **** ****!!!”

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