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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, May 26, 2022
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It always looks so good, until it goes so wrong for sports in the state.

Bucky Badger comes out as a furry

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Late last week the news no one wanted came out. Bucky Badger is, in fact, a furry. During a recent interview with the Big Ten Network, Badger decided to come out. “At one point the line between mascot and furry became muddled. I realized that this wasn’t just a shitty hobby I picked up so I could get attention from drunk students at football games, but that Bucky Badger was my fursona”. 

Reactions from Madison students so far have been mixed. While the campus furry club, Wisconsin Organization of Furries (WOOF), has commended Badger’s courageousness, other students weren’t as accepting. “I just don’t understand why Bucky would feel the need to confess this. I won’t ever be able to look at him the same way.” said sophomore Jessica Walsh. 

Around the nation, fans have been burning Badger merchandise. A student led fire was arranged on Bascom Hill following the news. “Who knows what the hell a ‘Teach Me How To Bucky’ shirt means now!?” asks Brad Miller, one of the fire’s main organizers. “Is it something sexual? I can’t have my family think I’m caught up in some weird fetish group. I might have to transfer schools. Screw you Bucky! You ruined UW-Madison for me!” 

While the campus has been processing the revelation, Student Advisor Jim Smith has decided to put Badger on temporary leave. The decision comes from fear that the safety of both Badger and fans has been put at stake. Additionally, the Big Ten Network will no longer be streaming any UW-Madison events where Badger may appear. ESPN will announce their decision whether or not to cut ties with the school later this week.  

Badger’s reps have not responded to the Daily Cardinal’s request for a comment. 

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