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Friday, May 27, 2022
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Professor Allenson being rushed to the hospital following a life-threatening soggy french-fry allergic reaction.

‘Der Rathskeller’ Faces Lawsuit After Incident of “Poor Pickle Placement”

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Der Rathskeller, the popular dining area located in the University of Wisconsin’s Memorial Union, is currently facing a troublesome lawsuit according to media reports from late Tuesday night. The impending suit was filed by Gerrard C. Allenson, a professor of rhinoceros anatomy at Marquette University, and pertains to what has been described as an incident of “poor pickle placement.”

“I was in Madison last month to give a talk at the University’s fourth annual conference on Zoo Animal Intestinal Tracts and I stopped at Der Rathskeller for a quick lunch break,” said Allenson. “As I ate my side of fries, I started to notice that the ones towards the bottom were a bit soggy. It was then that I realized that Der Rathskeller had placed the pickle underneath the fries. It was hidden from my view, rather than on the side where, having seen it, I could have managed the timing of when it was eaten so as to not soggify my fries.” 

Allenson was then rushed to the hospital, as he has a life-threatening allergy to soggy french fries. 

Allenson is now suing Der Rathskeller for damages of $30,000 after the potentially fatal incident. Allegations include “neglect of proper pickle placement in meal assembly” as well as failure to warn customers about the possibility of soggy fries in their allergen information. 

“They were also out of Rathskeller Sauce,” said Allenson in his latest tweet. “The whole thing was really quite the fiasco.”

We spoke with University of Wisconsin sophomore Kylie Ver Kuilen, who was a witness to the incident. 

“It’s long been known that Der Rathskeller places the pickle underneath the fries when you order from them,” she said. “For me it’s been a real annoyance, having to dig the pickle out from underneath the fries as soon as I receive my meal. But even then, I have to eat a pickle with french fry crumbs on it and the whole situation just becomes less than ideal.” 

So far, Der Rathskeller has been quiet about the lawsuit, including our request for comment. It remains to be seen how Der Rathskeller will handle the situation. In the meantime, however, the dining facility has faced significant backlash, as there seems to be a great deal of frustration from the student body. 

“It’s really not that hard to just put the pickle next to the fries instead of under them,” said Caroline Allenson, wife of the Marquette Professor. “I just hope Der Rathskeller takes adequate responsibility for their actions and handles the placement of their pickles in a more proper manner going forward.”

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