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Saturday, September 30, 2023
Each agent is required to wear rubber gloves during the procedure.

Each agent is required to wear rubber gloves during the procedure.

TSA asks that pregnant mothers please remove fetuses and place them in separate bin

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

As air travel ramps up during the final months of 2017, the Transportation Security Administration are instituting a new policy requiring pregnant mothers to remove their fetuses and place them in separate bins at the security checkpoint.

Mothers more than three months into term must take their developing children from their uterus and place them into a bin to be sent through the screening conveyor belt. Those younger than the gestational age of 12 weeks may remain in their mother, though such travelers may be subject to an additional ultrasound screening.

“As we are on the cutting edge of national security, it is our duty to thwart terrorism at the source,” TSA director David Pekoske said. “The latest research shows that prenatal humans pose a budding threat to our nation’s safety.”

The TSA was established in late 2001 in response to the terrorist attacks on September 11 of that year. Originally in the Department of Transportation and since reestablished in the Department of Homeland Security, the TSA require air travelers to remove all metal items and shoes from their person during the screening process.

“We have mandated that passengers place laptops and tablets in individual bins by themselves for years, so this new move is not without precedent,” Pekoske said.

Most major airports already have OB/GYN clinics integrated into the security checkpoints, and smaller airports will have them soon.

“We ask that pregnant mothers now arrive at airports a minimum of three hours prior to departure time,” Pekoske said. “The reinsertion can occasionally be time consuming.”

Mothers with TSA Pre may retain fetuses up to six months in age, though that policy is under review according to Pekoske.

“Though we understand this protocol may be unpopular, it is paramount for maintaining the sterling, proactive level of security the TSA prides itself on.” Pekoske said.

According to the new guidelines, mothers of twins must place each fetus in their own bin. 

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