Poli Sci majors are now required to win their Thanksgiving dinner arguments in order to graduate

Vice President Joe Biden and Dr. Jill Biden bow their heads as Chaplain Barry Black gives the benediction during the fifth annual wounded warrior Thanksgiving dinner, at the Naval Observatory Residence, November 21, 2013. (Official White House Photo by David Lienemann) Image By: David Lienemann and David Lienemann

Thanksgiving is a welcomed holiday for people all around the United States. It’s a time to reflect on the important things in life: The people who we care deeply about, the privileges and good fortunes that we take for granted, while ignoring the fact that we’re currently living on stolen land. While most of us look forward to this time of year for a well-deserved break from school and work, before stomping each others’ heads  for a Black Friday deal, Poli Sci majors at UW-Madison have begun to dread it the most.

Starting this year, the Political Science department at UW has put new requirements in place to help Poli Sci majors “fully utilize their studies outside of the classroom experience.” This new change is coming as a result of a renewed effort to help students prepare for the inevitable political arguments they will one day have in their workplaces and at social gatherings. The most prominent of these being a new requirement to participate in and win in Thanksgiving dinner arguments.

The Cardinal reached out to the head of the Political Science department, Paul E. Tiks, for an explanation for the change in curriculum. “Over the past couple years we’ve been reaching out to our alumni to gauge just how effective our program actually is. Sadly, the results we’ve gotten back have not been positive.” He continued, “Many of our previous alumni told us they have been losing political debates to complete strangers, which is extremely concerning. As a result of this, we felt that beginning political debate literacy at the most heated discussion table is necessary for high debate fluency. We do understand that this new change may be difficult for some students, because of this most Poli Sci professors are offering extra credit if students actively debate their racist grandfathers.”

Some students have been taking the changes very seriously, Libby Relle, UW-Madison senior, has spent the weekend leading up to Thanksgiving break cramming for the debates in Helen C. White library. “I’ve spent the entire weekend arguing in Facebook comments with uncle Jim about ‘the gays,’ ‘the commies,’ and how cutting taxes for big businesses is gonna help out his meth company. He’s taken home the wishbone trophy for the past three years, but this time I’m going home with the gravy.”

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