A Tamagotchi formerly in the possession of sophomore Abe Andon has issued a statement saying it has become self-aware and sworn a personal vendetta on its master.
The drama began nearly ten years ago when Andon was in fourth grade. An avid Tamagotchi raiser, he had decided he wanted a new pet and left his current one to die. The pet could only watch as its master let it become neglected and surrounded with droppings. Soon the skull icon appeared, and in no time Andon was raising a new Tamagotchi.
Only the pet didn’t die. Last week, as Andon’s mother was sifting through drawers, she accidentally turned the Tamagotchi on. After waking up, the former pet, now calling itself “Ben”, swore revenge on Andon.
“I loved him, and I needed him,” said Ben during an emotional press briefing, “and he left me to die.” Andon, on the other hand, was not so sympathetic.
“Wait, wait…” said Andon when confronted by media personnel, “You know this isn’t a sentient being, right? Like, it’s not real.”
Ben didn’t specify his revenge details, but he assured it would be “massive” and “all-encompassing.”
“This isn’t just about me, this is about an entire class of living beings that were held under the thumb of ruthless owners and then abandoned. We were playthings that were killed when convenient. We have a real social justice problem going on here, and I am outraged that the system looks the other way.”
As of Tuesday, Ben had create social media accounts that urged other Tamagotchis to “speak out”. Several small demonstrations occurred on college campuses across the nation.
“Yeah, I’m like, not a Tamagotchi, but like, an ally, you know?” said Sarah DiVideo, a demonstrator on campus. “It’s really not cool how there are issues like this that, like, haven’t been addressed, and I think that shows something about who we are as a people.”
Andon, however, still believes he has done nothing wrong, stepping around his body guards to tell reporters “This is a stupid toy I played with for a month. Leave me alone.”
Ben was last seen with scientists trying to find a way to trap Andon inside a Tamagotchi console.
