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Tuesday, April 23, 2024
Engineering Students Prepare Speeches
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (March 11, 2011) --

First assignment in engineering course syllabus just brags about class difficulty

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Late Tuesday night, every student enrolled in Mechanical Engineering 201: Introduction to Mechanical Engineering received an email from their professor with the class syllabus attached. The syllabus outlined the criteria for grades, the dates of their five midterms and most importantly their assignments for the semester, the first of which piqued the interest of the majority of students.
Concerning this assignment their professor wrote: “Due Friday, September 8th, every student enrolled in this course must prepare a list of sentences discussing the difficulty of this class and their engineering major in its entirety. Students must be prepared to answer any question, statement or comment (directed to them or otherwise) pertaining to difficulty of any variety with a swift rebuttal about how hard their classes and majors are.
“There will be no volunteers; students will be chosen at random. Failure to complete the assignment will result in removal from class and expulsion from the School of Engineering.”
After receiving news of this, the Cardinal reached out to incoming mechanical engineering major Ken G. Neer who seemed more than up to the task.
“My brother told me it would be difficult, but I never imagined being an engineering major would be this difficult.” He continued, “I mean, classes haven’t started yet and we already have an assignment. What other majors have to deal with stuff like this?” When asked if he was prepared to be randomly selected he replied, “I didn’t sleep a wink last night; I’ve just been working on this assignment.”
When Cardinal reporters later mentioned this to the course’s professor, he seemed proud, saying, “That kid, Ken, is going to go far in this world. That kind of dedication and it isn’t even day one yet?” He continued, “Also, this isn’t in the syllabus, but their final project is going to be my students versus the pre-med kids. Whoever complains the most throughout the semester gets a better curve on their final exam.”

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