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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Male student 'almost positive' that TA is into him

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Citing her frequent eye contact and flirtatious smile, UW-Madison freshman Chris Coleman told friends today that he’s pretty sure his political science TA has a thing for him.

“I mean, she’s being subtle about it right now,” Coleman said. “But I can just tell.”

According to Coleman, Ph.D. student Caitlin Morales “calls on [him] all the time,” and “plays with her hair a lot whenever [he] asks her a question.”

“She even asked to see me after class last week,” Coleman continued. “I mean, it ended up being about my essay, but I think she wanted me to make a move.” 

Coleman told friends that even though he knows he could “almost definitely” sleep with Morales, he doesn’t really feel like asking her out.

“I’m already seeing a bunch of girls, so I’m good for now,” he said.

Still, he conceded that if Morales, a former congressional aide and policy analyst, were to come on to him, he’d probably accept her advances.

When reached for comment, 26-year-old Morales mentioned that she did not know who Coleman was.

At press time, three other students from Coleman’s discussion section were also convinced of their TA’s love for them.

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