When it comes to getting between the sheets with a Badger babe, there are a few things we should know about the person we’re bangin’. We should know they want to fondle our goodies just as much as we want to fondle theirs, we should know what birth control or other safer sex methods we’ll be using and we should most definitely be aware of each other’s STI status.
As we hopefully know from week one of Between the Sheets, asking for consent can be oh so sexy. Talking about birth control and barrier methods requires some dialogue, but if we just established that all parties are eager to get it on this isn’t too tricky either. Now for that third one…
How the hell does one go about asking about “infections” or “diseases” without coming across as judgmental or untrusting? Won’t asking when the last time someone was tested on top of what birth control/barrier methods they want to use totally kill the mood? This Badger says no way, José!
Just as we’ve learned how to ask about what birth control we’ll be using we also need to ask about our partner’s STI status. Only some people have the ability to accidentally create other humans, but everyone has equal opportunity for passing along/being passed an STI. Before we can learn how to bring it up to a partner we need to know what we’re talking about when we say STI, or sexually transmitted infection, and what getting tested means.
The STI images many of us have seen are worst-case scenario snapshots of people’s junk designed to scare us away from “touching each other.” It would be silly to say that STIs aren’t a big deal because in reality no one wants to deal with them, but it’s also important to know that of the handful of STIs we need to be super conscious of every single one is either treatable or curable.
Chlamydia is the most common STI on UW-Madison’s campus. Chlamydia is a curable bacterial infection and all we need to take care of it are some antibiotics that typically cost less than 15 dollars. It is passed along by fluids so condoms are over 98 percent effective! If we’re experiencing an itch we just can’t scratch or it feels like Edward Scissorhands is attempting to escape from our urethras while peeing, getting tested would be a great idea. Chlamydia is basically the poster child for getting tested because even though it’s curable as hell it remains the number one cause of infertility amongst American women.
After chlamydia, the most common STIs on campus are molluscum contagiosum (a viral skin infection), human papillomavirus (HPV) in third and herpes rings in at number four.
Getting an STI test at UHS means being tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea by peeing into a cup or performing a self-swab of the vagina. Any student can walk into UHS at any time or schedule a same-day appointment to be tested. Testing should happen every three months for people who are switching partners and two to three times a year for people who are not switching partners.
The only way to be sure of our own STI status is to get tested regularly. The only way to be informed about our partner’s STI status is to ask them about it.
Here’s the deal on asking about STI status: it’s super important and not asking about it and having something passed along to us is going to be a bigger deal than possibly making things awkward.
While the subject can seem daunting to bring up it doesn’t have to be a buzz kill. Keeping things casual and genuine is key. If we seem nervous and avoidant of the topic when asking our partner about this our partner is almost certainly going to feel the same way. Phrasing is key; asking, “Hey, when was the last time you were tested?” rather than, “Yo umm… you don’t like… have anything, right?” is going to determine how the whole rest of the interaction unfolds. The first example is clear, to the point, and doesn’t feel stigmatizing while the second one isn’t clear and makes it almost impossible for a partner to feel comfortable answering.
Another effective option is to offer up our clear STI status first and then ask if our partner is in the same boat. This might look something like, “So I got tested two weeks ago and I’m good to go, have you been tested recently?” This breaks the ice and makes it clear that being safe is important and it also alleviates a bit of the pressure for the askee.
As the person asking the about STI status we need to be aware that the answer we get may very well be that the person hasn’t been tested or that it’s fine because they “always use condoms,” and we need to be prepared for what we want to do in this situation. Not being tested doesn’t mean all activity necessarily has to stop, but that’s a personal decision that should be made ahead of time.
Tell me again:
STIs are no big thang as long as we don’t try to pretend they don’t exist. This means talk about them, get tested for them and use safer sex supplies. When we ask about them make sure to do it in a way that doesn’t come across as though we’re accusing our partner of being a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater. Decide what to say if we don’t get the response we were necessarily looking for and understand that others may try to push us one way or the other on this one because being mad horny sometimes makes us throw caution to the wind; whatever the decision is, stick to it.
Wondering if something your balding middle school “health” teacher told you was actually poppycock? Anna would be happy to clarify that for you at sex@dailycardinal.com.
