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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Wednesday, February 21, 2024
Economics Professor Dan Patel

‘The economy’ just an illusion, new study from UW-Whitewater claims

Markets continued to slide yesterday, this time following the results of a new study by the UW-Whitewater School of Business which claims that “the economy” has never existed. “Our data specifically indicates that the long-held economic notions of supply and demand, marginal utility and the natural rate of unemployment don't make any sense at all and can not possibly be real things," reads the study, which compared historical evidence with market data from over 25 countries.

Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations," long considered to be the founding text of classical economics, has also been reassessed as a satire on the hyperintellectualism of his time. "Mainly, the newspapers in the 1770s were looking for a new section to complement the romance stories that were catered towards married women," explains Whitewater economist Dan Patel, who conducted the study. “So they made it look like all this stuff was going on. Interest rates, tax rates, GDP... it was all just number porn.”

These conclusions have caused considerable controversy, flying in the face of over two centuries of economic research. "I don't buy it," claims UW-Madison economist Bob Smart, "it’s like that story about the Emperor and his new clothes. Sure, really he was naked, but so what? Maybe we all should be naked." A follow-up study has been planned for next year.

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