Recessive gene tired of being second best; plots to kill his dominant counterpart
A recessive gene was reportedly “fed up” with being in the shadow of its brother the dominant gene.
Late Tuesday evening, the recessive gene finally came forward with his feelings toward his counterpart and vowed to exterminate the egotistical gene.
“All I’ve wanted my entire life was be first place at SOMETHING,” the recessive gene stated. “That dominant little shit is always replacing me and I’m so sick of it.”
The miniscule amount of genetic information then went on to say he wasn’t opposed to taking drastic measures to be expressed. It even went on to talk about permanently eradicating all dominant genes, much to the opposition of his arrogant colleague.
“Bro… BRO… I’ll always win this argument. Red hair? Nah I think I’ll make it brown. Blue eyes? Ah, fuck that man that’s gonna be brown too! It’s funny when he thinks he can change the way someone looks, he’s a disgrace to genetics,” exclaimed the dominant gene in a series of Cs, Gs, Ts and As. “I’ve been passed down through so many generations. He’s the definition of a moocher.”
The recessive gene ignored the ramblings of the tyrannical dominant gene to focus on its ultimate plan to dethrone its nemesis. Cardinal reporters used all their insiders to attempt to unearth its plot but the gene’s millennia of incognito experience made the endeavor impossible.
At press time, red heads around the world rejoiced after hearing the initial reports.Subscribe to The Daily Cardinal Newsletter