“LOLOLOL.” That’s what my good friend Yeezy would say if he knew I’d never covered this topic at length before. There’s a great penis pun there somewhere.
Today, we’re making a list. That’s right. No elongated messages about loving ourselves for who we are or the way each person is entitled to liking exactly what they like. Nuh-uh. Today is just a little sampling of some of the many components of BDSM, of course in alphabetical order.
BDSM is a triacronym meaning bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. It is used colloquially as an umbrella term for “kinky” activity. It is important to keep in mind that what might be “kinky” for some is completely “vanilla” for others.
For people interested in the kink community, websites like Fetlife.com and SatyriconMadison.com can be really helpful. Look into those and let me know what you find!
Some terms may seem more familiar than others. Lesser known activities will get a blurb. Any questions or clarifications should be sent to sex@dailycardinal.com. Now, learn!
A: Anal Beads! Ass play!
B: Bondage! Blood Play!
Blood play (self-explanatory) should be handled with extreme caution and only after a significant amount of research and communication.
C: Cosplay! Consent! Cupping!
Cupping is this thing where glass cups are lit on fire and pressed against the skin of our partner. Be very careful, Cinderelly! Although the sounds and feelings of the suction created by the extreme heat can be sexy af, this activity is not for amateurs.
D: Drowning! Discipline!
E: Eating shit! Literally. It’s called skat. Cool! Edging!
Edging is a super cool technique we can use on our partners and/or ourselves. In edging, a person is brought to the very “edge” of orgasm but doesn’t actually come. This process can be repeated over and over until the person is finally allowed to climax, resulting in a most powerful orgasm indeed.
F: Femdom! Fisting!
G: Gangbang!
H: Humiliation!
I: Intermammary Intercourse!
Titty fucking. Not necessarily too BDSM-related, but it’s alliteration! My favorite! Besides, pushing together one’s boobies to be thrust into by a phallus can be as submissive or dominating as we want (just like everything else to do with sex. Yay!).
J: Just…
K: …Kinking!
Kink is a nearly-all-encompassing term for a sexual preference that transcends heterosexual missionary position sexual intercourse. Kinks range from a love of nipple play to pleasure from biting to foot fetishes and beyond.
Some people classify themselves as “kinky,” which means whatever it means to them but can be interpreted as someone who has more than one sexual preference considered “off the beaten (ha!) path” of sexuality. Kinkiness is a spectrum, which means that what’s kinky for some is commonplace for others.
L: Lactation! Lap dance! Leather! Licking!
M: Master/Slave! Masculinity!
N: Nipple Clamps! Nose plugs!
O: Orgasm Denial!
P: Pegging!
Pegging is when a chick bangs a dude’s asshole. Pretty fucking sweet, eh?
Q: Question Master! Wait…that’s not right. But “queening!” That works!
R: R.A.C.K.!
An acronym meaning “Risk Aware Consensual Kink,” which allows parties to communicate and understand each of their boundaries without fear of judgment and ridicule.
S: Spanking! Submission! Safe word!
Safe words are completely necessary and a big part of consent. They allow us to communicate when we have reached our limit in sexual play. Safe words should be words that are not related to the activities we’re participating in and should be easy to say. “Banana” and “jellyfish” are both great options.
T: Throat Fucking!
Like I always say, blowjobs are bittersweet. Bitter, because of the way it tastes. Sweet because we know we did a good job. Is that relevant?
Throat fucking is when a phallused partner, with a penis, strap-on or even a cucumber in hand, uses another person’s mouth the same way they would use a vagina or asshole. The “mouth” is usually forced to stay still by the “phallus’s” hands while the latter thrusts in and out of the “mouth’s” mouth.
Throat fucking sometimes involves breath play—where the dominating partner holds the nose or throat of the submissive partner while fucking their throat—gagging, tearing up and fun noises often ensue.
U: Underwater!
V: Vulva Torture!
W: Water Sports!
Water sports involve a dominating partner peeing on a submissive partner. Sometimes the submissive partner drinks it all up. Awesome show, great job!
X: X-Ray!
Read Tucker Max, mkay?
Y: “Yes, Master.” –Gollum
Z: Zap!
Electricity play requires special tools that fall under the umbrella term of “erotic electrostiumlation.” They have their own Wikipedia article under the same name. Electrostimulation tools send small shocks that stimulate skin. They can be transferred through the tools themselves or other metal objects. Oftentimes used on the genitals for hypersensitivity. Bzzzzzzzzz.
This is not a comprehensive list. Many of these activities and acronyms are nuanced, we shouldn’t engage in anything we aren’t comfortable with, communication is key, all the usual suspects. Please play safely.
If you’ve recognized Alex in a bar in the past seven days, you go out too much. Email to ask her questions regarding your love life at sex@dailycardinal.com.
