This past Saturday evening, complementing his record-breaking rushing performance and preceding Badger football’s famous Jump Around tradition, running back Melvin Gordon decided to bail on the remainder of the lopsided matchup versus conference rival Nebraska and run all the way from Camp Randall to The Kollege Klub.
Immediately following the run that gave UW a 52-17 lead and broke the all-time, single-game FBS rushing record—a 26-yard touchdown that capped the third quarter and was ultimately his final play in the game—Gordon proceeded to run straight through the endzone, into the team tunnel, and all the way to the popular college bar that sits at the intersection of Lake and Langdon Street, commonly referred to as “The KK.”
“Yeah, I didn’t even know I was close to the record, I was kind of just running away,” Gordon told inquiring journalists from his remote location, in between vodka sodas. “When it’s KK Time, it’s KK Time.”
An NFL scout who witnessed this supplemental one-mile sprint has reported a time of 84.6 seconds, almost enough for Gordon’s second record-breaker of the night but falling just short of former Badger running back Montee Ball’s 83.1 second mark that came two years prior following a late-October win against Minnesota.
“Melvin Gordon! Melvin Gordon!” the crowd roared in the second half. Little did they know, Gordon was 10 blocks away, double-fisting drinks.
The Kollege Klub is a campus-renowned partying nook for many Badger athletes, where the beer flows like wine and football fans instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. Many of these fans may be categorized under the not-uncommon collegiate sect of “jersey chasers,” who populate such taverns with dire hopes of earning the affection of locally famous athletic talents.
“There’s certainly a lot of fun to be had at ‘The KK,’” linebacker Marcus Trotter told the press after the game before joining Gordon at the team’s favorite watering hole. “Sometimes it can be tough coming back out onto the field after halftime with that in the back of your mind.”
“Hey, Melv! Order me a tray of Fireball shots,” co-quarterback Tanner McEvoy could be heard yelling into his phone outside of the postgame media room. “Yes, obviously on Barry’s tab!”
At press time, a group of fraternity brothers occupying a corner table at the KK were becoming increasingly concerned that Gordon was singlehandedly monopolizing the attention of the bar’s women.
