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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Tuesday, April 23, 2024
Van Hise

Which buildings on campus are probably haunted?

Barnard Residence Hall—Have you ever met anyone who lived here? Exactly. That’s because

they’re all GHOSTS.

Grainger Hall—Nope. Too many good looking people in this building. Not haunted.

Humanities—A building so evil its blueprint was undoubtedly drafted by a man with red skin, it must be home to some malicious spirits. (The man with red skin was the Devil by the way.)

Van Hise Hall—Many believe that the 19th floor of this tower is unreachable. This is false. The only way to gain entry is to be deemed “hellworthy” enough by the hordes of phantoms that lurk in the rafters.

Goodnight Hall—The name alone seems appropriate for a place just crawling with ghouls and spooks. Plus, have you ever been in there to confirm that there aren’t any ghosts? No. You haven’t.

Chemistry Daniels—A building teeming with paranormal activity. These ominous vibes are responsible for all the labs you fucked up.

McCormick Hall—What’s that, you’ve never even seen a McCormick Hall? Rumor has it that UW faculty have perpetrated the myth that this building exists, although no one knows where it is. Undead Almanac sources confirm it exists and is not visible to mortals.

Bascom—Did you really think the flamingo prank was done by students? Badger Herald folklore claims that dead bodies lie below the iconic campus landmark. The souls of these deceased will give you hateful sentiments when you reach the summit of the hill.

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