Burke:
—TP’ing the governor’s mansion
—Running attack ads on local television stations asking the public whether it can really trust a man with a micro-penis to govern anything
—Releasing hip-hop tracks such as ‘The Burke Twerk,’ ‘Fillibust-A-Nut’ and ‘Scotty da Fuckboi (Scott Walker Diss)’ to appeal to voters in younger and more “urban” demographics
—Cutting Mrs. Walker’s brake lines to really rattle Scott
—Landing Vice President Joe Biden to play the Robin Thicke role in ‘The Burke Twerk’ music video
—Leaking Walker’s uncovered personal diaries and poem collection
—Reminding everyone that she never dropped out of Marquette, and didn’t even consider going there
—Cradling, comforting and reading bedtime stories to a different union worker each night
Walker:
—Practicing a few magic tricks to show off at the next public debate
—Just sitting back and letting the Koch brothers do their thing
—Watching the documentary, Mitt on Netflix (*watching half of Mitt before surrendering to an Ancient Extraterrestrials binge)
—Once-and-for-all learning how to tie his shoes
—Hosing down the ol’ Capitol protestors
—Brushing up on the ‘Governor’ Wikipedia page
—Praying, of course, as God has a plan and that plan doesn’t involve no girl takin’ over for Big Scotty
—Buying everyone Ian’s Pizza, as that seemed to work pretty well in 2010
—Crank calling progressive political organizations
—Ramping up the bigotry for the home stretch
