Sometimes, I get questions that are too easy to answer in a whole column. Sometimes, they just need one-word answers! But because they are still so important and relevant to everyday life, I’ve decided to dump ’em all today just for you, dear readers. Enjoy!
Question: Why does my boyfriend want to come on my face?
Answer: “Facials,” as this action is called colloquially, can be perceived as sexy for several reasons. Many people love engaging in “facials” because they display a power differential between partners. By coming on a partner’s face, we are marking them as “ours” and displaying our dominance over them. This can be arousing and exciting for both submissive and dominant partners.
“Facials” are also glorified by modern-day porn, which leads people to eroticize the action in their own sex lives. We can feel like bonafied porn stars ourselves if we engage in what can be perceived of as their so-called everyday activities.
Finally, orgasming is fun. Why not use a different medium for our love juices?
Question: Is it normal to fart during an orgasm?
Answer: Absolutely! During orgasm, our pelvic floor muscles clench and release in pulses. Since our anal sphincter muscles are a part of these pulses, releasing gas while we come is totally normal and sometimes even funny. He he.
Question: Can I get chlamydia from receiving a blow job?
Answer: Mhm. Because many people have chlamydia of the throat without knowing it, the infection can be passed along through oral sex. Throat chlamydia can be difficult to test for, so we should always get ourselves tested if we are unsure of our partner’s status.
Question: Where are places around campus we should have sex?
Answer: 1. Your room. That is all.
Unfortunately, public sex is both illegal and non-consensual to those who may encounter people during fornication. It is unfair to put people into positions they are uncomfortable with simply for our own gratification.
If exhibitionist sex is something we are interested in trying, the best legal option is placing a mirror near our sex spot and letting those involved see each other from every angle. We can feel like we’re being “watched” and get a whole new outlook on our sexy times. Wah wah wee wah.
Question: My boyfriend says he can only use extra-large condoms. Should I buy those?
Answer: First of all, never buy condoms. Sex Out Loud hands out tens of thousands for FREE! We’ve all already paid for them. 333 E. Campus Mall, come pick ’em up!
Secondly, extra-large condoms are made for a reason. Although all condoms are created equal (they have to hold a gallon of water to pass FDA tests), some have extra room for penis comfort. Luckily, Sex Out Loud has all kinds of condoms. We have the opportunity to try out many varieties and see what we like best. The worst thing that can happen? We get to have more sex!
Question: Can I get pregnant if I have sex while I’m on my period?
Answer: Yes! If we have unprotected sex at any time there is a chance of getting pregnant. Wowzers.
Question: What’s the protocol on shaving pubes?
Answer: Our personal preference and preference of our partners.
While we should be able to express ourselves and our pubes in whichever manner we want, we should avoid becoming “Pablo Pube-casso” and overstepping our boundaries.
We should always take into account what our partners have expressed interest in as well. We don’t need to conform to their wants completely, but we should try to make our partners happy and find a compromise that works for everyone.
Question: A lot of people think hickeys are gross, but I like them! How can I strike a balance between a big turn-on and an appropriate appearance?
Answer: Hickeys can be a great way of showing our passion for our partners. However, they can leave a bad impression on professors, coworkers and employers.
How to remedy this issue? We should have our partners give us hickeys in places our friends won’t be able to find them. Not only do we get to have an “[OUR PARTNER’S NAME] WAS HERE” stamp on place like our thighs, boobs and hips, we also get to look at our naked bodies and be reminded of how hot it was to have our partner’s mouths down “there.”
Got questions about sex and relationships for the Dirty Bird? Email Alex at sex@dailycardinal.com where she’ll tackle inquiries from the most basic to the toughest of questions.
