Dear UW administration,
Thanks for all the new pretty buildings you’ve bestowed to us over the last few years. Union South is a piece of art. I like how shiny the floors are. The new Gordon Commons is divine. Dejope, too. And I can’t believe how environmentally friendly Leopold Hall is—probably as friendly as Aldo Leopold himself, may his blessed soul live on through all of our new buildings. (Aldo’s Cafe, anyone?) Speaking of, the 5 percent of the WID I have access to is beautiful too. When I’m inside, I feel like a scientist! Enjoying all of these buildings makes me feel a lot more well-off than a 21-year-old college student working 15 hours a week at a campus catering job should feel, so for that, I thank you for giving me such a wonderfully false sense of luxury.
So when I make this small request, apologies if it comes off as ungrateful and inconsiderate.
I want my fountain. My Library Mall fountain, please and thank you. That’s really all I’ve wanted from you for the last three years.
Here’s a timeline of my relationship with the fountain.
October 2009: UW campus tour as high school senior. Fountain solidifies decision to apply to UW.
Start of freshman year 2010: I enjoy sitting on lovely stone benches to watch water spout from top of fountain during free time.
Obama visit fall 2010: Crowding to see famous president puts fountain in imminent danger.
Obama time to spring 2012: Fountain covered and dry, while construction of underground pipey pipes proceeds around it. Little public understanding of why or how.
May 5ish to May 28ish 2012: The fountain is opened! Once again! Forever!
May 28ish 2012 to now: Fountain closed as Library Mall becomes token dumping ground for Memorial Union reinvestment construction, which will be complete on an unknown date. Is most depressing acre on campus.
So to sum up, woe is me.
But I’m not the only one upset by the lack of fountain. There was once an adorable duck couple that called the fountain home. The two are currently displaced. Also, there used to be a man who would doggie paddle in the fountain with only his underwear on. He looked so happy. Now, that man is permanently unhappy.
I’ll stop whining about the changes to Memorial Union (including the loss of the Play Circle Theater, the craft shop and the Paul Bunyan room, which might be replaced by bigger and better play circles, craft shops, and Bunyan rooms, respectively.) So since these bigger and better things will be completed after my time anyway, I request, dear future alma mater, that you halt construction on the Union IMMEDIATELY and wait until after my graduation date (May 18, 2014) to resume. Evacuate all the constructiony nonsense and restore to me a lovely Library Mall with fountain and grass and the whole shebang in the meantime. Thanks.
Love,
Samy
B.A. 2014 in history, international studies, certificate in environmental studies and sarcasm.
When was the last time you saw the Library Mall fountain? Email Samy about it at moskol@wisc.edu.
