OK, I’ve been getting really pissed off with all you peepal lately and you need to no it. YOU NO WHO U R!
It’s just not funny anymore. And above all, the thing that’s really making me super super super angry is how dumb everyone is and you wont get out of my face no matter how much up in your face I get and I’m tired of it.
Yeah you heard me right. Sorry I’m not sorry. Talk to the hand yo becuz the face says “no.”
It’s like, I’ll go on Pintrest or Facebook or Twitter or MySpace or Google+ (less frequently) or YouTube or Yahoo and nobody nos how to talk with like smart person words and stuff anymore. It’s like “hellllooo,” just learn the difference between they’re and there and to and two. It’s the best when those people are all like up on some high horse trying to sound all intelligant and stuff and there making all these claims like, “Oh economy, blah blah blah, Social Secturditie, ecudation… ” WILL YOU PEOPLE STFU ALREADY?
No I don’t need to like read books or learn how to spell anything or listen or go to class or respect my parents to be awesome. I’M ALREADY SO FREAKING SMART WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT HATERS?! All I kneed is Facebook to be the best and just becuz you don’t like no how to like be cool and all the girls don’t like text you pictures of their armpit tattooze all the time does’nt mean you can be a loser and cramp my style when I’m like all like up in here with like a beer and like everbodys all like, “Bro I’m so glad your here.”
All I no is that when me and my frends all get in our cars and drive down the street with the windows down yelling at everybody we see were the coolest people and when we throw stuff out the windows and all the people are like, “Hey why’d you do that?” and we like sped away and were like, “Sucks to be you!” were the coolest and nobodys better or smarters or gets more and I don’t care if its old people or not I’m just the best an nobodys ever gonna be better that’s just a fact. Well yeah that’s what I used to do with my frends but now my new frends are even cooler then those frends so we like are like some “self fulfilling property” is what my mom says but shes dumb and were the coolest so I don’t listen to anybody.
Now I’m in collage and everybody nos that I’m the coolest so they like don’t even try to be cooler than me anymore there like, “Woah bro did you just drink that whole beer?” and I’m always like “Yeah so what? All I do is drink beer becuz I’m the best and I don’t need to do anything else than drink beer all day everyday becuz that’s just what the coolest peepal do.” And soon I’m just gonna gradudate and make like a craplode of money becuz I’m just better and all those other stupid peepal are gonna be crying becuz they will all be begging me to be nice and give them some of my cars and girlfrends but Ill say ‘no’ becuz they don’t deserve anything becuz they aren’t as cool and awesome as me and I should have everything.
So my only advise to all of you is that you should just look out when I’m coming around maybe like bow or something becuz you don’t want to make me mad becuz I have a really bad temper and if I for some reason think that your in my way I’m gonna make you be in pain because I’m the best and everyone should look at me and be like, “Wow I want to be like him.”
Do you effing hate Andy as much as he hates you? Email Andy at holsteen@dailycardinal.com.
