Evan Wray, a 19-year-old freshman at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, still refuses to admit that the unsightly, bulbous red protrusion on his upper back is a pimple.
Aaron Cribbs, Wray’s roommate and good friend, noticed the growth last Thursday and brought it to his schoolmate’s attention.
“The kid was flexing his muscles in the mirror like he does every time he comes home from the SERF, and that’s when I saw it,” Cribbds said. “That’s when I saw that messed up, angry-looking pimple-thing on his back. I was like, ‘Dude, you got one heck of a zit on your lat.’ He looked at it and got really defensive.”
According to fellow classmates, news of Wray’s skin condition has spread across campus like wildfire.
“Aaron told some people about how nasty it was and now everyone’s asking to see it,” said Daniel Gottlieb, Wray’s next-door neighbor in the Witte dorms. “He gets really mad when you ask, though. I’m going to talk to his girlfriend about getting a picture of it or something.”
When questioned about the horrible, throbbing boil by Daily Cardinal reporters, Wray became visibly upset.
“I’m telling you, it’s a spider bite! I’ve gotten them before! Look at the redness around it, that’s like the venom or whatever. Google it!”
Dr. Harold Francovis, a dermatologist and leading expert on pustules, whiteheads and blisters, is not buying Wray’s story.
“Yes, I can see all the telltale signs of a pimple here in his girlfriend’s photograph. He says it’s a bite, huh? Well, let’s just say that I don’t see him turning into Spiderman anytime soon.”
