I have no reason to hate police officers. I have no criminal record. However, I had one run-in with the police that turned me off of local law enforcement forever.
Let me set up the scene: I was a senior in high school, hanging out at a friend’s place one spring day. There were four of us, and we were just playing video games and talking about the next “American Idol” winner (What? I liked shitty music in high school). One of my friends, we’ll call him “Zeke,” was playing around with his new touchscreen phone when he accidentally pressed the “emergency contact” button, which conveniently calls 911 (who knew!). Zeke took the only logical course of action by hanging up the phone and coming to his best friend for advice—but his best friend wasn’t there, so he asked me instead.
Now, Zeke and the other two guys at this house were all sophomores, while I was an 18-year-old senior (yeah, yeah, I hung out with younger kids, sit on it). I also took a crime class with the incredible Mr. Brook Brown, so I thought I could figure out how to talk with the operator when they obviously called Zeke back.
The operator called Zeke back, and I picked up. I explained it was an accident and there was no cause for alarm. However, the operator insisted they have to send an officer whenever a call to 911 is placed. So hurray, I guess?
Boring, boring, boring. Let’s fast forward to when the police officer arrives.
So the officer calls Zeke’s phone and tells Zeke he’s outside of the house. I take a deep breath and meet the officer outside. First off, the officer didn’t get out of the car or take his sunglasses off. Honestly, I don’t even think he looked at me. I explained the story and assumed that’s all he would need… haha, nope.
The officer was confused as to why I answered Zeke’s phone; I guess my answer of “I’m the oldest” wasn’t enough (in retrospect, that was really dumb). So he asked me to get Zeke. The officer then asked Zeke why I answered the phone and he said because I’m older (let’s make the same mistake twice). The officer told us the reason he thought it was weird is because many times when an operator calls back, and someone else answers, then the person calling might be dead. Yup… Zeke died, and I found an impersonator with his same monotone demeanor to replace him.
I thought we were done, but nah; this officer needed more. He wanted everyone out of the house and to have them tell their stories (again the same story), and after that, he wanted to lecture us. Before I get to the grand finale of this story that makes the last 500 words worth it, just remember that this is a case of an accidental phone call; nothing more, nothing less.
Here’s what the officer said (this is the only part of the story that is 100 percent real; I remember what the officer said word-for-word to this day).
“Do you know where I just was?” He asked. “I was at a young girl’s suicide. I should be over there trying to pick up the pieces, but I’m over here because you kids are fucking around with your phones. Do you know what that is? That’s obstruction of justice, how would your parents feel about that?”
I was flabbergasted; I couldn’t even say a snarky comeback. The officer looked at Zeke and the other two and told them they were fine. He then took off his sunglasses and looked at me straight in the eye and said, “You. I don’t trust you. If I ever see you again, if you’re ever in trouble, I want you to know; I am not your friend. I will not be helping you out.”
And he drove away, probably to the suicide.
After all that, all I can say is goddamit Mr. Brown, you didn’t prepare me well enough.
Have you ever had a run-in with the law? Do you have an unfavorable view of the police? Tell Michael about it by sending him an email at mvoloshin@wisc.edu.
