A mob of angry upperclassmen set up camp on the dilapidated bridge between Gordon and Witte Hall around dawn Thursday morning.
Members of the mob, now dubbing themselves as the Occupy Old Gordon Movement, said they are giving voice to a silent majority of upperclassmen who oppose recent university construction projects.
“We will be here until the university stops building fancy shit for freshmen,” said Occupier Michelle Jackson, a junior. “Back in my day we had to risk breaking our faces as we tip-toed across that ice-covered concrete bridge if we wanted puppy chow at one in the morning. That built character.”
The group said they hope the protest remains peaceful, but are ready to fight if need be. According to Jackson, occupiers are armed with stolen dining hall silverware dated to 2010 and are prepared to defend against intruders of any sort.
Several former residents from Witte 4A who said they feel “nostalgic” for the old Ed’s have also enthusiastically joined the movement.
“Look, brah, I just have this mad craving for Juston Stix,” said senior Spencer Morris. “Don’t judge.”
Morris held back tears as he recalled the first time he and his friends drunkenly vomited up cinnasticks in the Sellery 3B den.
Though their barricade has been growing slowly each day, their tangible goals, and steps towards accomplishing those, remain unclear and varied.
