Wisconsin Republican lawmakers were given a collective time-out after throwing mass fits over a Dane County judge’s decision to place a permanent injunction on the voter ID law, passed last spring.
In his ruling, Circuit Justice David Flanagan said the law infringes on citizens’ right to vote and disproportionally affects young, old and minority groups.
State Sen. Scott Fitzgerald, R-Juneau, who has been known to draw on the walls with crayons if his juice is not served to him in the appropriate sippy cup, said he is worried about how the ruling will affect his recall race.
“Well, I’m a goner for sure now that the vote will actually reflect the will of the electorate,” he said. “Not fair!”
Other legislators in the Capitol time-out room, which was previously served as the Joint Finance Committee meeting room, noted the injustice of it all.
“How dare that judge take away my right to take away people’s voting rights,” state Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend, said. “I’m pretty sure the Founding Fathers never intended for old people, students or minorities to vote, anyway. Gaaawd.”
Because of the recent beautiful weather, the fitful lawmakers were taken outside for some fresh air and sunshine, but Grothman was sent back inside after he started screaming “I HATE SPRINGTIME AAAHH!” and scaring local children.
The legislators had just started to calm down when state Reps. Kelda Helen Roys, D-Madison, and Mark Pocan, D-Madison, drove by in a car with “waaambulance” strewn across the side, mocking the Republicans as they passed.
“Told you so, losers!” Roys yelled out the window.
Although most Wisconsin Democrats were elated at Flanagan’s decision, former Dane County Executive and current opponent of Gov. Scott Walker Kathleen Falk was less than pleased.
“Repealing the Voter ID law was, like, half my platform,” Falk complained. “What the hell am I gonna do now?”
