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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Tuesday, May 07, 2024

APRIL FOOLS': Veteran legislator has seen it all before

Commentators nationwide have dubbed Wisconsin’s past political season “historic,” “chaotic,” “momentous,” “groundbreaking” and more. One Wisconsin legislator disagrees.

“Meh,” multiple sources say they overheard the veteran senator say. “I’ve seen worse.”

Wisconsin recently concluded a whirlwind legislative session marked by mass public demonstrations, the shocking departure of the state’s 14 democratic senators to Illinois, all-night debate sessions in the Assembly, redistricting and voter identification laws signed into law only to be remanded to federal court for revision, and more.

Nonetheless, last February the senator reportedly told the vacant chair of senate minority leader Mark Miller, “This ain’t nothin’.”

Witnesses spotted the same senator calmly ambling through crowds of chanting pro-union protesters with headphones in his ears, hands in his pockets and a bucolic smile across his face.

“Honestly, I’m not sure he even noticed them,” recalls one puzzled legislative aide.

The Senate is now evenly split between Democrat and Republican control following the departure of Sen. Pam Galloway, R-Wausau, who resigned due to illness in the family.

To the confusion of those predicting political deadlock, the legislator responded with unbridled delight at a recent press conference.

“Good,” the senator said, clapping his hands. “Now we can really get stuff done!”

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