Kids are weird. They look relatively normal and adorable until they suddenly decide to be Simba and bite everyone they see. You never know what to expect.
They seem like tiny humans, except kids have an extensive catalogue of quirks that make adults view them as strange or even downright disgusting. There is the obsession with snot and the fear of cooties. Then there is what they find funny. A middle-aged man dressed as a dinosaur? Creepy, not amusing.
I actually love kids. But even I have to admit, they're not the most normal people to interact with. Why do they enjoy the things that they do? Take Teletubbies, for example. Why would any sane person (not on drugs) watch that show?
They also like strange books. The perennial bestseller, "Goodnight, Moon," is just a list of things to say goodnight to. At this age it is about as entertaining to read as a stock report. Why do children sit still and pay attention to a story with no plot? They should be running in fear of having to bid their alarm clock, bathroom mirror and piggy bank farewell every morning before school. It's like a to-do list as a story. What kid wants their parents to give them more chores?
And what is with the books that are actually terrifying? Parents who give a child "Bunnicula" deserve ending up with a kid in their bed at 3 a.m., unable to sleep because of a nightmare about the family pet turning evil. Even the cover of the book is scary. The artist takes a cute fluffy animal and makes it a demon bunny.
All my friends loved "Goosebumps" in third grade. Of course, reading the books became the epitome of cool. I decided to give the series a shot. I always made sure to be reading one during independent reading time, even though I really found them horrifying. For months, gruesome images of turning into a chicken plagued my dreams. Kids who like to be scared are even weirder than their peers.
Though perhaps I was the weird one, which was probably the real case, considering my love for both Pokemon and "Little House on the Prairie." But I can't help but think that reading should be fun. It shouldn't be something you do to impress people. You don't derive any real meaning from a story if you're just trying to look good, or if you're so bored you want to give the book as a present to the person you hate the most.
Sometimes the popular books are the good ones. But more often than not, they suck. I don't think I have to say anything more here besides "Twilight."
Find a genre or an author that you truly enjoy. Don't read Herman Melville just to impress those hot English majors. You'll end up loathing reading. It's better to be the weird kid reading something different that you really like than that guy very obviously reading "Pride and Prejuwdice" just to get girls.
Embrace your weirdness. Who knows, one day it might be as cool to like less popular, indie books as it is with music. And maybe swap tales of vegetable-killing animals for some Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Did you ever sneak a Judy Blume book behind your copy of "Harry Potter" to fit in? Tell our departing lit columnist, Sara at slschumache2@wisc.edu.
