As I drove back to Madison Sunday in dreary weather, all I could think was, ""What the heck am I doing? Did I really leave the comfort of my home for this crap?""
Don't get me wrong, I love this school and this city just as much as everyone else on campus, but the weeks following Thanksgiving are pretty treacherous. You sit down at your desk and look over all the incomplete assignments you told yourself you'd start over break.
After all, being productive is a lot easier said than done when your whole family is sitting by the fire, snuggled on the couch watching ""Planes, Trains and Automobiles"" and they wave you in to join. Do you respond, ""Nah. I have to write this 10-page research paper""? Of course you don't. You make yourself a cup of hot chocolate, plop down next to your mom and enjoy one of the greatest Thanksgiving movies ever made.
It's only Tuesday, and sitting by the fireplace with my family already seems like a distant memory. When I took a study break last night, I opened my fridge and moved things around in order to find the mashed potatoes. Oh wait. That was stupid of me, because you know where the mashed freaking potatoes are? They're at home with my mom, where she's probably playing Christmas music and baking cookies. The only food in my fridge at school is expired lunchmeat and questionable string cheese.
Yes, Thanksgiving is indeed a tease; the pleasantness of the holiday squashed mercilessly by the reality of lengthy papers and exhausting finals. In order to get through the misery of dragging myself to class until winter break comes, I've decided to list a few smile-inducing moments from Thanksgiving break and hang them on my poorly-stocked fridge. I suggest you do the same.
Arriving home:
When I walk into my house I'm greeted by my black lab, Lenny, wearing a gold ribbon and bow around his neck. My mom and I eat this cuteness up like it is gravy.
A surprise gift:
Occasionally when I come home from school, my mom leaves a small gift on my bed, like a pair of socks or a box of Frango mints. A thoughtful gesture that says, ""I bet you don't get this kind of treatment at school. You may be able to party hardy at college, but at home you get chocolate on your pillow. Consider that before you think about moving far away from me after graduation.""
Anyway, on this past homecoming, my dad left me the best gift—an online article titled, ""Famous Left-Handers."" At the top of the page my dad wrote, ""Since you're left-handed, I thought you might enjoy this. Love, Dad."" The simplicity and randomness alone made it a gift I won't forget, but on top of that, the article itself is hilarious.
First of all, my dad highlighted ""important parts"" such as ""International Left-Handers Day is August 13th."" I didn't know such a day existed, but now that I am, I plan on hosting an annual BBQ to celebrate. All you left-handed readers are invited! If you're ambidextrous, you can come too. Right-handers, take a hike.
Second, some of the famous people on the list are ""subject to be left-handed."" I'm assuming those people are the ones that have question marks next to their name, such as Joan of Arc. I would have loved to be in the conference room when they compiled the list. I imagine an old guy named Arthur says, ""What about Joan of Arc?"" Another old guy named Barty asks, ""Any proof that she's right handed?"" Arthur answers, ""Nope."" Barty points to the typist and directs, ""Put her on the list. But with a question mark.""
Third, some of the people on the list with question marks next their names are still alive. I understand why the compilers may not be sure if Joan of Arc was left-handed, but Sylvester Stallone? Didn't they have any means of determining his handedness? I just did a quick online search and found out he's ambidextrous. If I were Stallone, I'd much rather have ""ambidextrous"" written next to my name than have my left-handed legitimacy in question. It's a slap in the face!
Massive amounts of food:
The morning after Thanksgiving I roll out of bed, go into the kitchen and pull mashed potatoes and stuffing out of the fridge for breakfast. Shocked, my mom says, ""It's only 10:00 a.m."" I reply, ""Don't matter, don't care."" She responds, ""That's pretty disgusting, and as your mother I can't let you do this."" With one swift movement I deflect her hand away from my plate and refute, ""Remember two Thanksgivings ago when I didn't eat any food because I was sick in bed all day with a kidney stone? Well, I'm making up for lost time."" She shakes her head in defeat and says, ""Well, you should get some protein too. Better bring out the turkey.""
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