I have never walked out of a movie before. Generally, two hours spent watching the most poorly made movie is a more pleasant experience than the best two hours spent wasting time at home. In order for me to even consider abandoning the theater, a movie would need to transcend badness and connect with me on a truly offensive level. That is the situation I ran into with ""Saw 3D,"" a movie I would have skipped out on without regret had I not been bound by my movie critic duties.
It provides a nice display of blood and gore to open the movie, but
it has absolutely nothing to do with the events that transpire in
the rest of the film. The sequence exists solely to give the
audience some sadistic glee at seeing a pretty little harlot
filleted in horrific fashion. And therein lies the fatal flaw of
the entirety of ""Saw 3D"": Moreso than any other horror film I can
think of, it is just shallow, pointless sadism.
As with all the ""Saw"" films since the rather decent original, the
plot takes a backseat to the Rube Goldberg-style death traps. All
that is important is that the current Jigsaw killer (Costas
Mandylor) is back on his intricate killing spree, and this time it
revolves around an inspirational speaker (Sean Patrick Flanery) who
falsely claims to have survived a Jigsaw trap. There is some extra
filler about the current Jigsaw wanting revenge on the original
Jigsaw's wife (Betsy Russell), as well as an obligatory police
detective (Chad Donella) on the hunt for Jigsaw, but there's no
real need to invest much interest, because right off the bat the
audience knows most of these characters will die gruesome deaths
before the credits roll. In fact, director Kevin Greutert and
screenwriters Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan seem to be under
the impression that the easiest way to wrap up the series' loose
ends is just to kill a lot of people.
That's not to say there is anything wrong with death in a horror
movie. High body counts have been a horror movie staple for years.
Granted, many of the best horror films, such as ""Halloween"" or
""The Shining,"" tend to keep their death counts small so every
death matters. But nevertheless, the volume of the blood bath is
not the problem in ""Saw 3D,"" the tone is.
""Saw 3D"" offers nothing in the way of redemption for its
characters, no matter how often it is mentioned by the little
Jigsaw puppet. It would be easy to say it offers up no sense of
catharsis either, but that wouldn't be true. It simply offers up a
sick and twisted version of catharsis, where the healing comes from
seeing someone's head split open or another person's eyes get
stabbed. Nor does ""Saw 3D"" offer anything in terms of suspense or
thrills leading up to its gruesome deaths, which is where classic
horror films earn their glory. Even the 3-D aspect is boring, as it
barely factors into the look of the film at all. The sole
motivating factor to watch ""Saw 3D"" is to see complete brutality
thrust upon others. That is not a movie. That is a snuff film.
Hopefully this truly will be the final ""Saw"" film, though I have
my doubts. Bringing back Cary Elwes from the first film as a
throwback/deus ex machina opens up the series to further sequels
should Lionsgate be jonesing for money next year. And the
obligatory reboot is probably just ten years down the road. But at
least until then, moviegoers will no longer need to avoid the sick
trap that is ""Saw.""
