The pope has broken his silence over rock 'n' roll. Sure enough, the Vatican's ""semi-official"" newspaper, L' Osservatore Romano, has released its very own list of top ten rock 'n' roll albums of all time, despite the immorality of the basic practice of ""rockin' out"" due to its inherent blasphemy. However, it appears the Vatican is branching out in ways never attempted and giving us a rare sneak peek into the pope's potentially most-played albums on his iPod.
The most surprising admission on the list is Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. This album is as synonymous with heavy drug use as soundtracks made intentionally for that purpose, like Spacemen 3's The Perfect Prescription or Velvet Underground's ""Heroin."" Being a Pink Floyd hater might make me biased, but I have dabbled in the group's work, and Dark Side of the Moon isn't among their very best. Don't get caught up in the hype there, pope. I would've expected a more open perspective from someone secluded in the smallest existing sovereign entity.
The second story about this list, the absence of Robert Zimmerman, is apparently so heretical they felt they had to address it in the article. The best part is that their defense takes the high road of pop-poetic snobbery, claiming Zimmerman, known to most as Bob Dylan, paved the way for too many harshly untalented musicians that the Vatican has had to suffer through for decades. Oh the plight! How can you call out Dylan for influencing and inspiring terrible artists when he also created a vein of open social consciousness never seen before? Wouldn't the pope rather listen to ""The Ballad of Hollis Brown"" than the Beatles' raucous, irresponsible cover of ""Twist and Shout""?
Nevertheless, the Beatles nabbed the top spot with 1966's Revolver, in what I will call the safest—and most ironic—pick since Rob Gordon placed Nevermind's ""Smells Like Teen Spirit"" in his top five side-one track-ones. However, where Rob was hinting at his own immaturity, the Vatican's newspaper startlingly chose a violently named record with conservative songs like ""Taxman"" (those damn liberals!), ""Eleanor Rigby"" (that poor Father MacKenzie!) and ""Tomorrow Never Knows,"" with lyrics like ""That love is all / And love is everyone / It is knowing / It is knowing / That ignorance and hate / May mourn the dead / It is believing.""
As safe as that choice is, I can't blame them. Same with the appearance of Paul Simon's Graceland. Although I like other Simon records better, its combination of pop and worldly cultural sensibilities make it a sort of olive branch of an album, alluding to harmonious world relations.
The other questionable call is Santana's Supernatural, but haven't we all been a sucker for Rob Thomas and ""Smooth"" at some point or another? Overall, however, it is a surprisingly varied list with plenty of historical sensibility. A few other notable names were U2's Achtung Baby, Fleetwood Mac's Rumours and Oasis' (What's The Story) Morning Glory?
I only have one beef: no gangster rap. After last year's inclusion of 2pac's ""Changes"" on the Vatican's 12 favorite songs, I expected to see either Ready to Die by Notorious B.I.G., the Wu-Tang Clan's debut, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), or, if they wanted to play it safe, Big Willie Style. Forget rap and there are still some givens that I had chalked up in my predictions: Sinead O'Connor? Angels and Airwaves? And how can they leave out Creed?
Are you also surprised the Vatican didn't own up to its gangster rap obsession? Let Justin know at jstephani@wisc.edu.
