When Maggie Pennington returned to her room Sunday morning, she expected to find her roommate passed out in boxer shorts and a T-shirt that wasn't hers, face first in a box of Ian's pizza, just like any other Sunday. But this particular Sunday, Pennington instead found a note and a half-eaten box of Cracker Jack.
The note read, Dear Maggie, by the time you read this, I will be gone. Last night, Keaton Miller - you know, that one guy from the party who writes a column on Tuesdays - came over. I was inconsolable about my column ending for the year, and he held me as I wept. We were sobbing, watching ""You've Got Mail"" and eating Cracker Jack when a ring fell out of the box. Keaton then proposed and offered to fill the void that the ending of my column has left in my life. We are on our way to Vegas, and there is pizza in the fridge. Love, Megan.""
Pennington called the police, fearing her roommate had been unstable when she accepted Miller's marriage proposal. Officers tried to contact the elopers. Corbett answered her phone and mumbled the phrases ""Elvis,"" ""a Star Wars theme"" and ""mazel tov!"" before hanging up. Police also tried to call Miller but got only his voice mail. The recording began with the voices of Corbett and Miller speaking in unison, saying, ""Hi, you've reached the Millers,"" then devolved into giggling and baby talk between the two.
Sarah Nance, who edited both Miller and Corbett's columns, was surprised by the couple's elopement. ""I guess I should have seen it coming, since they run back-to-back on Monday and Tuesday,"" Nance said, sliding her own desk closer to one of the good-looking copy chiefs. ""They worked so closely together.""
Wednesday columnist Ashley Spencer, also commented on the elopement. ""This all comes as a shock to me. I thought if anyone ended up with Keaton it would be Matt - they have a lot in common,"" Spencer said. ""They are both skinny, pale men who have an unhealthy interest in Legos. At no point did I ever see any romantic interest on either side. I think once Megan actually puked at the sight of Keaton at a Cardinal party. It might have been the seven keg stands she did, though. Nonetheless, I never saw this coming. I can't picture them even holding hands, let alone getting it on.""
Andrew Peck, a former editor for the two, was more surprised by Miller's actions than Corbett's. ""You know, I never saw Keaton as the type to elope,"" Peck said. ""He always struck me as the sort of person who'd want to be treated as a princess on his wedding day.""
Nate Truchan, who lived downstairs from Corbett and Pennington, said he had seen Corbett and Miller running off together Saturday night. When Corbett told him of their plans, he attempted to stop the couple. ""I tried to talk some sense into her, but she just kept asking if I had the number for Hooters Air and if I thought they had flights out of Madison. I don't think that even exists anymore,"" Truchan said. ""Then this guy they call 'G-unit' walked up to her, crushed a can on his forehead and told her to go for it. That was all she needed.""
Although Miller had been single up until the elopement, Corbett had been dating Kevin Hinderman for over two years. Hinderman could not
be reached for comment, but his brother Kyle said,
""When Kevin heard the news, he flipped. He jumped in his truck and I think drove out there to stop it. I just hope she took pictures on Hooters Air. That would be pretty sweet.""
Police assume the couple will be returning sometime later in the week, but whether or not their marriage will be legal is still up in the air. Peck summed up The Daily Cardinal staff's feelings on the elopement. ""I am delighted they decided to elope."" Peck said. ""Now I don't have to get them a gift.""
Police believe alcohol may have been a factor in the
incident.
To congratulate the happy couple on their marriage, which will probably last until Megan returns to the Cardinal in the fall and Keaton ventures into the real world, e-mail mcorbett2@wisc.edu.
