Dear Hangover ~
My uncle invited a friend to his wedding who brought a 'hired escort' as a date. Now, we were all assuming that was all she was, until she started grinding with my grandpa and putting her boobs in a little kid's face. Then she got kicked out. I was sitting in the lobby later and my aunt ran off the elevator with the drunk hooker in tow. She was screaming at my aunt for getting her kicked out. Nothing like a prostitute to spice up a family function.
Sincerely,
Scarred for Life
Dear Hangover ~
These three guys randomly came up to me at a bar and started talking. When my friends came back, two of the guys dumped the last guy on us. Every time I cracked a joke this guy would touch my face. I know he wasn't hitting on me because he asked me how it felt to have sex with a woman. He wanted a detailed description. When he got up to pee, the three of us bolted. You try to be a good Samaritan...
Sincerely,
Not Talking to Stranger
Dear Hangover~
I ended up in detox one night. After several hours of being threatened with antipsychotic drugs, the crazy detox lady finally agreed to allow me one phone call. Instead of making the obvious rational decision of calling a worried friend or family member, I decided to use my call in a more productive manner. I called 911 and told them I was being held against my will. The very concerned 911 dispatcher asked me where I was, I answered that I was at detox, and she promptly informed me that I probably belonged there and may have, in fact, been taken there by her coworkers. Sure as shit, I got those antipsychotic drugs.
Sincerely,
Drunk and Delirious
Dear Hangover ~
Some of my friends had a tropical party. Being the smartass that I am, I dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow from 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' I was so plastered I thought I actually was Captain Jack Sparrow. On the way home, my friends and I went to Taco Bell to grab some food. As soon as my order came up, I grabbed my food, ran to the center of the restaurant and proclaimed to everyone there, 'Ladies and gentleman! You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!' I then proceeded to make 'pirate sounds' and ran screaming onto State Street.
Sincerely,
Pirate Wannabe
