The last seven days of my life have been miserable. It was just one of those weeks-the sinister kind where everything that can go wrong does, and then some worse stuff you didn't even know about pops up out of nowhere to join the carnival of evil.
First, the university takes away my grant for University of Wisconsin/Peter N. Long Foundation for the Advancement and Continuation of Pertinent Research and Study (UWPNLFACPRS). Then, I get slapped with a libel suit because a group of hardworking students accused me of allegedly calling them \grade-grubbers."" After that, I find out Bucky Badger isn't an alien named Quaaz'morg that conveniently resembles a badger, but a group of students dressed up in a mascot suit.
It was like I was stuck in the plot of some '80s teen comedy, where my life is one constant stream of misfortune and to top it all off, my girlfriend studying abroad leaves me for some guy with good teeth, great hair and some slick lines (Forget about Peter! We'll be together forever, baby. Rad! Gnarly!). The sad part is no one was laughing...and Wang Chung wasn't rocking out on the soundtrack.
I was at the very end of my rope-back against the wall, shell-shocked and down for the count. All I wanted was a cool beer in my hand so I could at least enjoy the nice weather for a few minutes before the next load of bad voodoo arrived. And then it hit me.
The Great Beer Giveaway.
Perhaps the greatest idea I've ever had, one that could define my legacy as a UW-Madison student, a columnist, a human being. The Great Beer Giveaway has changed my life, and it has the power to change yours.
The aim of The Great Beer Giveaway is simple: brighten the day of a complete stranger and pull them up out of their rut, if only for one kind, shining moment. All you need is a cold beer, a warm smile and a good attitude.
In the next seven days, I want you to change someone's life. Grab a beer from your fridge, the store or your neighbor's apartment, and go somewhere on campus -- Library Mall, Bascom Hill, the Terrace, anywhere.
Go up to someone you don't know, produce a cold one from your backpack, smile and say, ""Hey friend, you look like you could use a beer."" Hand them the beer, shake their hand and walk away. It's that easy-you've just changed someone's life.
Think of the amazing possibilities The Great Beer Giveaway will have for the UW-Madison campus-liberals sharing with conservatives, Greeks sharing with hippies, athletes sharing with panhandlers, Peter N. Long sharing with...attractive women.
More than democracy and McDonald's combined, The Great Beer Giveaway has the power to change lives. Use your next seven days to be an agent of positive change-give a beer to a stranger and cheer up his day.
Who knows-maybe the person you give your Great Beer Giveaway beer to is having the week from hell, and a cold one from a stranger like you could be all he or she needs to remember that life is good, regardless of the crappy seven day stretch they're in. Either that or they hate beer. In that case, you'd probably be making their week even worse.
But look at the bright side: one more beer for you!
Peter N. Long can be reached for comment at writePNL@yahoo.com.
