Monday, Jan. 17, 11 a.m.: No class for the King holiday. Of course, I don't have class Mondays anyway. Or Wednesdays. Or Fridays. My last semester in Madison is going to be sweet. Time for rest, self-reflection and, of course, writing my thesis.
Monday, 1 p.m.: Still haven't changed out of pajamas. My roommate and I spend the afternoon watching NFL playoff clips on TV and arguing who would win in a fight between actual Vikings and meat packers.
Monday, 8 p.m.: Argument still running. I say Vikings, Joe says packers, citing mob influence. We call truce over beer. Work on thesis delayed to research Vikings.
Tuesday, 10:30 a.m.: Wake up for class. Use pajamas as underwear. Plan to buy course readers before lunch.
Tuesday, 12:15 p.m.: Course reader purchase de-prioritized in favor of return to pajamas for nap.
Tuesday, 9 p.m.: Work on thesis delayed for eighth viewing of \Love Actually."" People say second-semester seniors don't learn anything, but Joe and I are close to learning how to propose marriage in Portuguese.
Wednesday, 11 a.m.: No class. Joe and I argue upon waking up-packers and Vikings again. We decide to organize re-enactment with local schoolchildren.
Wednesday, 2:30 p.m.: Recruitment goes smoothly when we promise raw meat and horned helmets to the kids. The battle is soon underway.
Wednesday, 3:30 p.m.: The Vikings win handily, not only defeating the packers, but setting fire to the school and taking their women. Joe claims re-enactment didn't properly take into account mob's strength. We agree to look into this later.
Wednesday, 4 p.m.: Parents arrive to pick up children. They don't look happy.
Wednesday, 9 p.m.: Organized crime research inconclusive. We call it a draw and peaceably end the argument, splitting a six-pack. Thesis can wait another day. Return to pajamas.
Thursday, 10:30 a.m.: Wake up for class. Decide not to shave in order to arrive to class before bell rings.
Thursday, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.: Day is unproductive and wasted, as I obsessively touch my face for hours, distracted by the novelty of four-day growth.
Thursday, 8 p.m.: Return to pajamas and watch ""Love Actually"" on TV again.
Friday, 11 a.m.: Wake up for orientation for online class. Trudge to biotech building, muttering the whole way that I didn't sign up for an online class so that I could get out of my pajamas on Friday. Professor doesn't look happy.
Friday, 10 p.m.: I seem to be evolving. A thin layer of fur has grown over my whole face now, which leaves me very well adapted to the recent blizzard. I decide it would thus be a waste for Joe, who is already bearded, and me to stay inside. We head to the bar to show off our evolutionary advantage.
Friday, 11 p.m.: I run into friend Karen and her attractive friends, but in-person communication skills have deteriorated to indecipherable grunts and uncontrolled flailing of limbs. I dejectedly return home to my pajamas and order food.
Saturday, 1 a.m.: Delivery guy arrives with food and asks if I would like receipt. With English skills depleted, I propose marriage in Portuguese.
Saturday, 11 a.m.: Look at the mess I've become in mirror. Decide to shave, shower and work on thesis.
Saturday, 11:15 a.m.: Realize there is football on that day. Thesis delayed until following week.
