I have a passion for sports. I cannot deny it. When I was 2 years old, I could name the starting lineup for the Milwaukee Brewers if I was given their numbers.
While the passion for sports still burns white-hot, I find myself becoming more critical of the thing that I love most.
That having been said, there are certain things that really irk me about sports, things that if I had a magic wand, I would make disappear. For the most part, some quirks are what make sports unique, and those are OK.
But these 10 things are so annoying that I need to get rid of them to make sports safe for all people. Not that I consider myself a protector of sports, but I tend to reminisce about the 'Golden Age of Sport.' Anyway, here they are in no particular order.
1. Agents'I'm sorry, but they need to go. While some may be nice guys, they just do not allow us access to players on a personal level. I think something is missing without that player-reporter relationship.
2. Slow-down offense in basketball'While the Wisconsin Badgers parlayed that style into a Final Four appearance, as a fan, it is like watching a turtle trying to cross University Avenue. Give me Loyola-Marymount and Head Coach Paul Westhead any day.
3. The fifth starter in baseball'Almost every team in baseball has a fifth starter that should be in the bullpen. Pitchers can pitch on four days' rest. I hate seeing the pitching line on a fifth starter go something like this'two innings pitched, eight earned runs, 10 total runs, 12 hits, two walks and zero strikeouts.
4. Male video directors in sports'Half the time, these guys show pictures of cheerleaders from inappropriate angles and it sickens me. There is a time and a place for sex, but the fourth quarter of a playoff game is not one of them.
5. Don King'Get rid of him. He is as close as a person can get to scum. Besides, the current boxing world has no great fighters and King has devalued the remaining ones.
6. Quarterback slides'Why protect only him? Let's just play touch football and make sure that no one gets hurt. If he leaves the pocket, he's as fair of game as a running back. In the pocket, perhaps some protection is necessary due to his vulnerability when he throws. Otherwise, lay into him.
7. Show some restraint with Tiger Woods'If he is not in contention, only show him every third or fourth hole. Don't devote six hours to him if he is not going to win. Show me a battle between the leaders. The networks seem to be listening, but this is just a friendly reminder.
8. Show more hockey'This is a message to ESPN. Show more highlights. It is the coolest and quite possibly the most skillful game on earth. Enough said.
9. Less advertising during the game'There is only so much advertising that I can take, usually in the form of commercials, but if I start to see advertising on golf greens, I am going to go ballistic.
10. Finally, sports fanatics who think that the outcome of a game determines their well being'Get a life. I learned to, and so can you. Go outside, read a book, talk politics, do something other than waiting for the next football weekend.
