there is no was anymore (hell there’s hardly any is). march on, beat four don’t care for three. (much less two) (but still looks ahead to one) one day you’ll forget zero day, i swear, and someday you’ll finally be in love with twoday. but first ya’ll got to start counting again— and you are am, and time still is. so move, for in motion you move to beat four and finally get a glimpse at one. one is is, and four is was— this is the start of your measure. READ MORE
Almanac is our home for satire, sex, creative writing and much more. Satirical articles are intended as such.
Scott Moser | 02/09/2017 6:00am
On Tuesday, freshman chemistry student Henry Fischer submitted his most recent exam to be regraded, asserting that his answers were not in fact wrong, but were “alternatively orrect.” During ...
Patrick Hoeppner | 02/09/2017 6:00am
During a scheduled military rally in Pyongyang Friday, an unexpected turn of events resulted in a live ballistic missile falling off a trailer in the middle of the street, halting the parade and sending ...
Grady Gibson | 02/09/2017 6:00am
Deep in the Redwood Forest in northern California lies a very peaceful, undisturbed bear.