Hey, did you just say my name? I could’ve sworn I just heard someone say “Myra,” which as you might know, is not the most common of names.
So as you know, yeah, I’m kind of a big deal. But that doesn’t mean you can all just call my name because you want a candid shot of my face so you can make it your new cover photo. Whenever I enter or exit a building, it’s a barrage of “Myra,” “Myra,” “Myra,” “MYRA!”
It seems like everywhere I go, I hear my name. Usually it’s in a tenor, and kind of oscillates around my inner ear for a few seconds before I realize that I’m hearing someone say my name again. Sometimes though, it comes in the form of a frightening female baritone—like “M-y-y-y-y-r-r-r-r-r-r-a-a-A-A-A-A.” The gradual crescendo is certainly off-putting.
When I react to people saying my name, they always look at me with this mildly confused, but also annoyed, glare. They try to deny that they said anything at all. But I know. I hear my name at least 270 times a day. So trust me, I know when someone has said it. There. I just heard it again. Stop saying my name!
Once in a while I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt if they can explain themselves. “Myron” and “Maya” both sound phonetically similar to “Myra.” Those names aren’t particularly common either though, certainly not enough to make up for the hundreds of times I hear my name every day. I just don’t believe you’re all calling to your friend with a name basically the same as mine who just happens to be standing in a place where I might confuse you addressing them from afar for you saying my name.
I’ve already explored the option of a name change. In fact, I’ve changed my name 11 times now, from Emily, to Sarah, to Michelle, to Gabby, to Alexandria, to Becky, to Nicolette, to Bethany, to Michelle (again), to Sandra, to Circe, to Myra. As you might have guessed, changing my name so far has not stopped people from saying it constantly. I’m thinking next I might try Ichabod, which doesn’t sound like anything else.
I don’t get why you all feel an impulse to call my name. I really just don’t get it. THERE! I heard it again! I’m alone in my studio apartment writing this and people are still trying to get my attention. Yeah, I’m special. But this is too much!
Tell Myra her name at mrshopper2939@hotmail.com.
