“If it’s not in the form of one of those cute slideshows on Instagram, I don’t want it.”
Sources reported that Bucky and Duo were stumbling down State Street, paw in wing, haphazardly pushing unsuspecting students off the sidewalk.
After noticing a lack of gargoyle presence on campus, students are calling for the creatures to be atop every building.
No celebrity dieticians here
Becky Blank and Willie the Wildcat's Valentine's Day outing scars students, further solidifying the fact that this is Bucky's campus
Woman breaks up with fiancé after discovering he eats Trix cereal — ‘I thought he was a man, not a kid’By Mackenzie Moore | Feb. 23
After catching her fiance eating the cereal, Stacy Morgan had to face the fact that Trix are for kids.
Following Juwan Howard's outburst after the Michigan menu's basketball team lost to Wisconsin, previous victims speak out.
Cucumber found maimed, foul play assumed.
How long do I really have left? Am I closer to being six feet underground than I am to being the age where I woke up on a snow day and played outside before cozying up in a warm blanket, drinking a hot chocolate?
Grades and attendance have improved since underage students were left without working fake IDs, but not without cost.
"I noticed that he was looking back and forth between the Kit Kats and the Hershey bars. I couldn't help but think, 'If I were this guy's girlfriend, we could buy one of each and share.'"
“I just drunk tweeted that I wanted one and the internet shit its pants.”
Originating on Twitter, TikTok users have successfully swayed General Electric to bring back the 1964 GE Americana Refrigerator.
Joe Manchin nabs Best Actor Oscar nomination for role of ‘politician who just thinks we should hear each other out’By Mackenzie Moore | Feb. 9
It's exceedingly rare for someone who has had zero hand in any film to earn an Oscar nomination, let alone someone who is doing guerilla-style acting in their day-to-day life under their own name.
NFL considering cancelling Super Bowl LVI due to growing concern that Bengals, Lions fans are too happyBy Mackenzie Moore | Feb. 8
“We can have one underdog to keep the people interested, but two? That disrupts everything.”
Daily Cardinal office mice to be exterminated after conclusion that they have no potential to be chefsBy Mackenzie Moore | Feb. 3
Over the last two months, a mischief of mice has emerged in The Daily Cardinal office. During this period, the rodents have received reactions ranging from abject fear to calls for them to become office pets.
Immediately following his retirement from the National Football League, Tom Brady has altered his widely-touted TB12 Method.
Citing the short lifespan of small wild birds, Ben Roethlisberger has decided to retire from the NFL to spend more time with the birds that live in his beard.
University officials respond to public bathroom anxiety by installing speakers to play the 1997 hit.