Spooky Time?
As we embark on this spooky spooky time,
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As we embark on this spooky spooky time,
Last Halloween, as well as the Halloween prior, 7-year-old Gordan Simpson dressed up as the blue Power Ranger for Halloween. This is no surprise given that Simpson is a big Power Rangers fan, obsessive some might say. Simpson owns 19 different Power Rangers action figures, has power ranger posters in his room and even has a power rangers school backpack. In fact, Simpson can even be found from time to time to be fake fighting with his friends as he pretends to be a Power Ranger.
We here at Almanac know the all-too-common struggle of finding the perfect Halloween costume. At this point, the 31st is only a week away! Do you have your costume picked out? If not, you are severely unprepared and should be worried. But don’t fret! The Almanac has generously taken the task upon themselves to brainstorm some unique, last-minute costume ideas that are sure to wow all your friends! Unfortunately we did copyright all of them — but for a small fee of $15.99 you can purchase a one-day license to sport one of our tasty Almanac Halloween looks (proceeds go to our editors’ Venmo accounts).
The Swedish Academy has named all content contributors to the Facebook Page “UW-Madison Memes for Milk-Chugging Teens” the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize for Literature. The Facebook page is an avenue for members of the UW-Madison community to post memes about current events and other matters related to campus, and the decision to award all its content contributors the prize marks the first time in academy history that so many people have been awarded the prize in the same year.
This past week controversy surrounded the singer Lizzo after her DNA test was leaked to the press, revealing that she is only 98.63 percent That Bitch (results showed that her remaining genetic makeup is 1.29 percent Vegan and 0.08 percent Ashkenazi). In her song “Truth Hurts,” Lizzo claims that she ‘took a DNA test’ and it turned out that she was ‘100 percent That Bitch,’ however, this claim appears to be exaggerated following the news of the leaked test results.
This past Tuesday, Abraham Hodge, a student at UW-Madison, was walking into Memorial Union when he caught a glimpse of a copy of The Daily Cardinal, the most awesome student-run newspaper. Realizing that The Daily Cardinal was both totally tubular and exquisite, Hodge obviously decided to pick up a copy and have a read, as he does every week when each print issue is published.
Der Rathskeller, the popular dining area located in the University of Wisconsin’s Memorial Union, is currently facing a troublesome lawsuit according to media reports from late Tuesday night. The impending suit was filed by Gerrard C. Allenson, a professor of rhinoceros anatomy at Marquette University, and pertains to what has been described as an incident of “poor pickle placement.”
This past Saturday night Rebecca Gonzalez-Smith, a first-year student at UW-Madison, was preparing to go out for the night. Nearly one week after she moved into her dorm room in Sellery Hall, and on the night after the first home football game, Rebecca was eager to go out with her new friends and experience the weekend scene. Yelling loudly and traveling in a pack of at least twelve other people, Rebecca and her friends made their way over to Langdon St where they were permitted entrance into a fraternity house.