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Tuesday, June 28, 2022
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Other queer identities to recognize this pride month

There is a whole alphabet of wonderful people who you should be celebrating this pride.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

While we commonly use the acronym of LGBTQ+ as a way of referring to all queer people, it’s important to remember how much beautiful diversity is tucked into that plus sign. In fact, there’s an entire alphabet of identities and individuals who should be celebrating pride alongside lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer/questioning people!

A - Anglers. If you are a regular out on the water trying to catch the big one, happy pride!

B - Below 5’4.

C - Colorblind. Red-green, blue-yellow - doesn’t matter! Have someone help you pick out a pride flag then raise it proudly.

D - Divorced dads.

E - Elbridge Gerry. Happy pride to the Vice President under James Madison and the person after whom “gerrymandering” was named.

F - Forklift operators. Assuming you’re fully certified, happy pride!

G - Gifted children (former). If you were recognized as a gifted child while in public school, fly your flag proudly!

H - Hamburger Helper glove guy.

I - Italian-American. This one is self-explanatory.

J - Jugglers. If you can juggle, happy pride!

K - Ketamine addicts, Kool-Aid Man. This is the only letter shared between multiple, equally important members of the queer community. Happy pride.

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L - Left-handed people.

M - Mail carriers.

N - New Jersey diner patrons. Happy pride to all those currently eating at any diner in New Jersey.

O - Ohio State Alumni. You can do the dumb “the” thing this month only. Happy pride!

P - Pneumatic tubes at children’s science museums. The ones at banks know what they did to get themselves kicked out of the queer community.

Q - Quick typers. If you consistently type over 60 words per minute, happy pride!

R - Rotary phones.

S - Saxophonists.

T - Torn ACL.

U - U2 concert goers. If you’ve ever been to a U2 concert, I hope you’re proudly waving the rainbow flag all month long!

V - Vietnam War Veterans.

W - Wonderwall by Oasis. If today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you, happy pride!

X - Railroad crossings.

Y - Yellow hat guy from the Curious George books.

Z - Zion National Park Rangers.

May pride month be a reminder to love who you are, whoever that may be. This is the time to be proud of your identity whether you’re left-handed, a certified forklift operator, currently eating at a New Jersey diner or even bisexual. Every day is the right day to be your authentic self. You are seen and you are loved. Happy pride!

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Jeffrey Brown

Jeffrey Brown is an Arts Editor for the Daily Cardinal. He also writes for the Beet.

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