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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, April 12, 2024


All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Swipe Left, Swipe Right

Who will I swipe tonight,

Am I looking for some fun?

Or am I looking for the one?

Swipe Left, Swipe Right

I got a new match,



Swipe Left, Swipe Right

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“I’ve never dated a black

 women before…”


God, not another one!

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How did my friend meet

 the one?

Did she swipe 24 hours a


Was she even having fun?

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“Dinner and a movie tonight?”

I guess that sounds like fun

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One date, two dates, 

I think it’s going well


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Is this millennial love?

Boiled down to a few math   


And superficial profiles

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I could swipe all night

Will I ever be happy?


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