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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Indecent Exposure: Introduction

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Anna

Ayden suggested we write this like a Tinder bio and that makes me so nervous I can barely type. Hello amazing readers of The Daily Cardinal, I am so giddy to be back from the rainy green isle and ready to dish about all things sex and relationships, with no less than the two funniest, most knowledgeable weirdos I know. I had the pleasure of writing this column for a year and a half under the title Between the Sheets before passing the torch to my girl Sydney Thomas who finessed Sex with Syd. We’re back with the addition of Ayden Prehara —he’s too cool for me and you — and we’re ready to expose all things perfectly indecent. We plan to leave no sexual stone unturned, but please, for the love of lube, if you have a topic you’re dying to get your eyes on, hit us up at sex@dailycardinal.com. 

A little about me: I feel like my identity as a Cancer pretty much says it all, but I’ll say more for the heck of it. 

Majors: Journalism and Gender and Women’s Studies. 

Occupation: I’m currently a Sex Out Loud Program facilitator. 

Preferred emoji: The purple-hands-up-lady, or as I call her, “What Are You Gonna Do? Girl.” 

Biggest goal as a Sex Educator: Equipping everyone with the knowledge of the true size, shape and location of the clitoris in the hopes that some day clitorises will get the attention they deserve. 

Favorite trashy snack: Hot cheetos. Hands down. Give me that fire. 

Favorite podcast: Two Dope Queens is an all-time fav, but right now I’m vibing so hard with the femmey goodness that is Glowing Up. 

Sex supply you won’t shut up about: I will never stop telling people about the powers of lube, specifically Oasis brand Silk water-based lubricant. It’s safe to use on and in any orifice and won’t stain your sheets like a silicone lube might. The wetter the sex the better the sex, y’all. 


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Sydney

Hey y’all, I am so excited to jump into this semester back with The Daily Cardinal and our newly revamped (2017 DJ Earworm-esque, if you will) mashup of Between the Sheets + Sex With Syd + whatever name feels right to Ayden. We are here to give you three voices and three different opinions on all things sexy happening on and around our campus. The goal is to give a diverse range of opinions on a plethora of topics to have you all feeling entertained and that much more knowledgeable after reading every column. 

A little bit about me? Oh please, all you had to do was ask! 

Major: Gender and Women’s Studies with a certificate in LGBT Studies. 

Occupation: Waitress/Bartender (best believe I am always simultaneously spreading my sex positive knowledge on the side).

Preferred emoji: Eyeball (you know the one).

Biggest Goal as a Sex Educator: To make sex a less taboo topic in the public sphere. The more we normalize these conversations, the more knowledge we ALL carry, the safer (and better) sex we are all having. 

Favorite trashy snack: It’s definitely Dill Pickle Lays. 

Favorite podcast: The Skinny Confidential Him & Her (they gives great life tips + amazing tips on building a brand and growing businesses). 

Sex supply I won’t shut up about: Lube, Lube, Lube, Lube, Lube. And again, lube. 


Ayden

Hey folks! By now you get the drill, my two best friends and I are undergoing a mission to get UW-Madison to talk about sex like it hasn’t been done before, and I’ve never been more excited! We already have a plethora of ideas bopping around our heads of topics to cover, but like Anna said, if there’s something you’ve been dying to learn more about, please let us know! Shout out Anna and Sydney for taking me under their wing as we embark on this sexy mission. 

Major: Gender and Women’s Studies and Community Nonprofit Leadership

Occupation: Program Coordinator at Sex Out Loud, proud dog account entrepreneur 

Preferred emoji: The three little heart cluster (makes any mundane text sound light and unassuming). 

Biggest Goal as a Sex Educator: All I want is to have a hand in making sex and pleasure a topic that is not only accessible to my community, but something that just feels natural to talk about! The more we know what gets us going, the more we can know exactly how we want to protect ourselves and the sooner we can be having the best sex of our life! 

Favorite trashy snack: Pizza Rolls (the first bite hurts so good — I refuse to wait long enough for that to cool).

Favorite podcast: My Favorite Murder! (try it, it’s less creepy than it sounds). 

Sex supply I won’t shut up about: By now y’all already know that lube is the absolute key for better sex, so now we just need to think about the delivery. A Woman’s Touch on Madison’s east side has a hands-free lube dispenser that had me absolutely shaken to my core (think automatic soap dispenser, but for sex)! Has science gone too far? You tell me. 

That’s us! Like we mentioned, the three of us have oodles of sexual educational knowledge to write about, but we would rather know what you all want to read! This can be as simple as “I want to know more about vibrators!” or “my partner did x and that made me feel, what do I do?” You have the questions, we have the answers — email us at sex@dailycardinal.com 

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