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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, March 01, 2024
Putin awarding comrade Donald Trump the highly coveted Russian award for “Best Golden Shower.”

Putin awarding comrade Donald Trump the highly coveted Russian award for “Best Golden Shower.”

Russian ties may indicate political experience, Trump voters concerned

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

During the tumultuous time surrounding the transfer of power between former President Obama and President Trump, allegations have surfaced that Trump may have a more long-standing relationship with Russia, Vladimir Putin, and Russian businesses than he indicated. While these claims remain unsubstantiated, they, along with reports of Russian election hacking, place additional suspicion that the President-elect was helped in winning the election by the Russian government.
For many voters, however, these allegations pose other problems leading into Trump’s presidency. A large part of the President appeal during his candidacy was his lack of political experience, which set him apart from opponents and gave him an “outsider” image. This lack of experience proved to be a significant asset on the campaign trail. While very few political advisors would suggest making fun of veterans, disabled people and women, on election day voters shower that the mockery really resonated with them.
Now, in light of the new accusations, the outsider image may be challenged. Amateur alligator tamer and Floridian Bobby Joe Bodean commented, “I only voted Trump for president because I thought he had no idea what he was doing! Seeing that this might have been planned makes me think I might have made a mistake, and thinking makes my head hurt.” This same idea was echoed among many Trump voters, especially those in less-affluent areas. While the way his campaign was run indicated little to no political savvy, possible ties to the Russian president indicate unexpected levels of political and diplomatic experience.
In response to the allegation, many Congressmen from both sides of the aisle have called for various levels or retribution, ranging from a metaphorical slap on the wrist to a literal spanking. House Speaker John Boehner reminded his colleges that the accusations do not yet have any factual backing, and that a full investigation is still pending. This however prompted US Representative Gary Palmer to shout “Since when have facts started to get in the way of the American people’s justice?!” across the floor of the House.
President Trump could not be reached for comment, as he was out of the country playing golf with definitely not Putin.

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