A confused ghost rose from his ethereal resting place as the clock struck midnight to voice his opinion on the insensitive portrayal of ghosts during this time of the year.
“You know, we as ghosts are a misunderstood bunch with many different pre-death backgrounds. I know it’s convenient to just throw on a sheet but we really would all appreciate some color diversity,” the wraith muttered while picking transparent pieces of skin off his face.
Cardinal reporters tracked down Jerry Mallory, a former victim of this unnamed ghost, to ask his thoughts on the matter. “Is he here?” Mallory said, looking around nervously. “I just got over this, I don’t want him to come back. I’ve been haunted many times but this guy was different. He kept going on and on about the inconsiderateness of people and how he believed it was unfair that ghost costumes were only white. I wasn’t even scared, I just wanted him to stop talking.”
When asked how to change the mindset of the general population, he laid out his plan to decrease “ghostism,” as he puts it. “Number one, you’ve gotta relate to the people, despite the difficulty in relating to things with a pulse and beating heart. Secondly, you need the backing of Casper, that guy is a legend and a widely accepted celebrity,” the translucent being articulated from seemingly all points of the room.
At press time, the ghost had quickly tired of the issue and had moved on to fighting for the species orientation of werewolves, despite his meager success in past mythological-rights endeavors.
