Happy Cocktober, my spooky Badger pals! This Tuesday we’re exploring all things male orgasm-related so unwrap that caramel apple pop and suck on this:
Last week was all about multiple orgasms and it probably had some thinking “Gee I’m lucky!” and others thinking “But... But... What about me?” In the interest of celebrating the abilities of all hot bodz it must be said that male-bodied people get to cum along in the venture for multiple orgasms, plus I get to do more wordplay with “cum” which is reason enough for me.
The previous week’s installment touched on how the sexual response cycle and multiple orgasms work for gal pals. To recap, the stages of the cycle are arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. For fellas, the stages are the same but with the addition of a refractory period during resolution in which more stimulation will not produce another orgasm. During the refractory period, the penis becomes less erect or possibly flaccid and very sensitive to the touch (much like the ultra-sensitiveness of a clitoris post ‘gasm). Estimates for how much time is needed before stimulation can start up again and another orgasm can happen are anywhere between 20 and 60 minutes.
Admittedly, the refractory period is a roadblock, but despite this it is perfectly possible for doods to achieve multiple orgasms.
If getting off multiple times sounds like something we’re up for, putting in lots of “hard” work is a requirement. Luckily, this type of hard work is done between the sheets—either alone or not—instead of in College Library; there really is a bright side to everything.
For male-bodied individuals, ejaculation and orgasm are often thought of as one in the same, but they’re more like two peas in a pod. Orgasmic contractions actually begin just before ejaculation and typically end at some point during the splooshing. Ejaculation of semen happens because of rhythmic contractions that start at the base of the penis and work to push semen out. By strengthening and utilizing the pubococcygeus or PC muscles, the two processes can be separated, meaning ejaculation can be withheld while maintaining orgasm.
Just as most people can’t do a pull-up if they have never lifted weights before, untrained PC muscles can’t be expected to stop ejaculation on the first try.
A simple first step to finding PC muscles is by stopping the stream of pee and notice how these muscles are different than abdomen or thigh muscles. Next, find them while not urinating and practice tightening them, holding for three seconds, then releasing. Do this several times in a row a couple times throughout the day. It’s also good to try contracting for a longer period of time, contracting in fast repetitions, or other variations to get the pelvic floor in tip-top shape.
The best part about these Kegels described above is they can be done almost anywhere and anytime and no one will know, unless one decides to tweet before every workout sesh—please do this, people really do want to know.
Having strong PC muscles is great in and of itself, but skipping the refractory period takes a combination of strong muscles, practice and hella body awareness.
Getting started
Masturbation is pretty much required for mastering this skill (oh, shucks). Start off by going about a usual masturbation routine, but stop all stimulation just before ejaculating and tightly squeeze the PC muscles for about 10 seconds. Take a little break, anywhere from one to five minutes, and then begin again. Repeat this while attempting to get closer and closer to the “point of no return.” Thinking it is possible to get just a little bit closer and accidently popping the confetti cannon is an integral part of this process and will build better personal understanding of the sexual response cycle—albeit frustrating. Tuning into our emotions and arousal states develops the mind-body connection needed for the ultimate experience of cumming on repeat.
After a session or two of walking right up to the edge of orgasm and not crossing the threshold, it’s time to put the spotlight on those beefed-up PC muscles and attempt to curb ejaculation and the refractory period.
Start by masturbating with enhanced bodily awareness as practiced, this time going until the point of cumming. Focus and attempt to squeeze the PC muscles as tightly as possible at the very beginning of the orgasm contractions before any fluid comes out. If successful, an orgasm will still occur but ejaculation will not. If the refractory period has successfully been surpassed there will be a maintained state of arousal and no “drop,” this is the cue to continue masturbating and do it all over again!
Timing is important; it may be that the PC muscles are strong enough to keep ejaculation from happening but that they’re not being contracted soon enough into the orgasm. Once ejaculation has already started, it is nearly impossible to stop it; in that case it’s best to wait out the pesky refractory period and try again, or try again another time.
Once enough fun has been had and one finally lets an ejaculatory orgasm happen, it is likely to be quite a bit stronger and more intense. For some, this may be the motive rather than multiple orgams. If this is the case, techniques such as edging and surfing may be satisfying. These approaches prolong the state of arousal and lead to an eventual “big finish,” instead of multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms.
Edging
Just like the multiple orgasm technique, this is where one masturbates to the point of plateau then ceases stimulation. This is done multiple times in a row, so eventually giving into orgasm is like the “grand finale” of the ‘bate sesh. For those of us who think training our PC muscles sounds like too much work and that a dramatic finish without mini-orgasmic lead-ups sounds sufficient, this might be our next night in.
Surfing
SURFBOARD. This style is Yoncé-approved and a great alternative to edging. Rather than stopping suddenly before orgasm, in this method stimulation is continued but at a slower pace so as to maintain arousal and prolong orgasm. As with the multiple orgasm technique and edging, the resultant orgasm/ejaculation after surfing is gnarly, brah! This is a favorite for those looking to increase how long they last during partnered activity.
Having a small amount of semen come out the first time or two is pretty likely and simply a signal to keep doing Kegels while suffering through that three-hour lab.
If pro-multi-orgasmer status has been solidly achieved whilst alone, showing off this new ability with a partner seems like a natural next step. As could be predicted based on what we learned last week, maintaining these techniques after adding another person into the mix requires loads of cummunication. Establishing beforehand that this is something we would really like to do together is important; a sudden shift in routine could throw off a partner or make them think they are doing something wrong. Explaining this is a new thing for us and that it might not go as planned or that it could take a while will create a safe environment for experimentation.
Remember to reciprocate; going back and forth is important to keep everyone feeling satisfied—unless it has been previously established that one partner’s orgasm is taking priority this time. Focusing on one person’s orgasms at a time may be the best bet in this situation so as not to become frustrated with the stopping and starting of stimulation, but of course this is up to interpretation.
Odds and ends
When testing these things out it’s good to keep in mind that not all orgasms are created equal so a non-ejaculatory orgasm might feel quite different than an ejaculatory orgasm. Exploring different types of orgasms and sensations we can experience through self-stimulation or partnered activity creates a wider range of sexual flavors and a more nuanced sexual experience. Knowing on an intimate level how one’s own sexual response cycle and orgasms work can bring nothing but good things to our minds, our bedrooms and the people we invite into those bedrooms.
Hopefully by this point it’s become hard to keep reading because of the urge to try these things out, but it also must be said that the process of stopping oneself before cumming can be fairly counterintuitive and frustrating; sometimes it’s better and more satisfying to just go for it and enjoy the sploosh.
Is that candy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Need Anna’s help coming up with a ghoulden Halloween pick up line? Email her at sex@dailycardinal.com.
