Environmental studies major mauled by classmates for using nonreusable water bottle

UW-Madison Junior Lawrence Adamson was kicked, punched and spit on by five fellow classmates from the resultant irritation he caused them by bringing a disposable water bottle to an environmental conservation lecture Monday night.

Adamson says his attackers had been glaring at him all throughout lecture but he did not anticipate them taking violent measures against him.

“I know using a disposable water bottle is frowned upon,” said Adamson. “But I guess I was just hoping I would go unnoticed. I’m usually good at that.”

Each group member who attacked Adamson sat next to one another in lecture, which allowed them to conspire during the 75-minute period.

“As soon as I saw that kid stroll in smugly with his Dasani, I just lost it,” said one of the attackers. “He needed to learn a lesson, and no, I’m not talking about the one taught in lecture.”

Adamson says he is fully aware the global repercussions of his actions, but he does not think he should have been beaten up over the matter.

“I’ve felt guilty about using plastic water bottles instead of a Nalgene,” Adamson said. “But there is something about the taste of the polyethylene terephthalate in disposable water bottles that is just unparalleled.”

One of Adamson’s assailants says that although Adamson’s use of a plastic water bottle may not seem to have warranted violence, the aggressor and his friends were just doing their part to protect the earth.

“[Adamson] overstepped his bounds and set a poor example for others through his actions,” said the aggressor, who asked to remain anonymous. “We needed to send a message, to cancel out his message, so people would not think anyone condones or supports wastefulness.”

Still, Adamson laments the actions of his assailants and says he will continue to use plastic water bottles in an act of martyrdom.

“I was hoping they’d be more progressive, that they could accept me for the content of my character and not the container of my beverage. I see we haven’t come very far since the Prohibition after all.”

Adamson suffered several broken bones and a broken nose. He is in stable condition at Meriter hospital and is accepting gifts and cards.

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