The University of Wisconsin-Madison’s student government, the Associated Students of Madison, was pleased to report a record turnout for their most recent election period, which concluded Wednesday evening. A whopping 14 people decided to “show their true badger” by rocking the vote.
“This is a wonderful development,” somebody, Secretary of something, said. “Knowing a few students actually care about what we do in ASM makes me smile inside.”
Newly elected candidates, who begged their friends and classmates to take the minute or so required to fill out the online ballot, were ecstatic about the massive increase in student voting.
“I WON!?! I WON!?! DOES THIS MEAN I’M ILLUMINATI NOW?!?!” the spastic winners howled in unison.
Several sources believe the Recreational Sports Master Plan referendum, a widely advertised proposal to drastically expand facilities such as the Natatorium and SERF, was responsible for wrangling in at least three additional voters.
“Next year, I bet we could get 15 or even 16 students to care about voting for ASM representatives,” Viceroy Nute Gunray said. “But tonight, I think we’re all going to revel in this special moment and let it sink in that we just made history. We did it, guys!”
