University of Wisconsin-Madison Natatorium officials say they are handling the “shark problem” that has recently plagued their facility.
According to eyewitness reports, multiple species of sharks began appearing in the pool Monday morning. By Wednesday afternoon, at least a dozen were counted swimming its waters.
“We’re not sure where the sharks came from or how they have survived so long in chlorinated water, but we have the situation under control,” said UW-Madison Director of Aquatics and Safety Betty Gresham.
Natatorium officials have decided not to close the pool, but have advised students to swim at their own risk, especially those with open wounds.
“We are not sharks’ natural prey,” Gresham said. “When sharks attack humans, they have typically mistaken us for seals or other aquatic wildlife. So, we thought closing the pool would be an overreaction. Sharks do have a good nose for blood, however, so be sure to check your body for cuts before entering the pool area.”
Gresham’s decision not to close down the pool has drawn controversy as five swimmers have already been killed and eaten, three during a horrific Tuesday afternoon feeding frenzy.
Natatorium staffers are using a combination of poisoned chum and careful harpoon-gunning to eliminate the sharks, so far with mixed results.
“The chumming has been decently effective, but the harpoon guns are very inaccurate,” Natatorium Head Lifeguard Stephen Faulk said. “It’s difficult to aim around the students, especially when they’re being closely circled by the sharks.”
One shark, a large Great White, has been especially hard to get rid of, Faulk says.
“We nicknamed him ‘The Juggernaut’ because we’ve put four harpoons into him so far with no effect,” Faulk said. “It’s weird to think about, but it seems like he’s the leader. The other sharks are always watching what he does. I’m pretty sure he started the feeding frenzy the other day.”
The appearance of the sharks could not have come at a worse time for the Natatorium, Gresham says, as the facility just finished exterminating a school of ravenous piranhas last month.
