DETROIT, Mich.— Career criminal Clarence Boddicker was completely unfazed by the Detroit Police Department’s time-honored ‘good RoboCop, bad RoboCop’ routine during a run-of-the-mill interrogation at the Detroit Public Safety Headquarters late Tuesday night in the year 2044.
Boddicker was brought in for questioning relating to his involvement in the Detroit cocaine black market. When he arrived at the station, an amiable RoboCop greeted him with a cup of coffee and guided him down the stairs to the interrogation chambers. Alone together in one of the dimly lit rooms, RoboCop’s demeanor changed abruptly. According to RoboCop’s own visual memory banks, the cyborg dramatically reached across the table, grabbed Boddicker’s ceramic coffee mug and ground it to dust between his metallic fingers.
Boddicker, no stranger to robotic police cross-examination, rolled his eyes and folded his arms after quickly recognizing the interrogation program RoboCop was running.
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat through the old ‘good RoboCop, bad RoboCop’ routine. Every criminal in Detroit has seen this performance,” Boddicker told time-traveling Cardinal reporters. “The RoboCop comes in acting like he’s your best friend, and then all of the sudden he’s shining the lamp in your face and throwing you against the walls. Three seconds later he’s picking you up and dusting you off like you’re pals again.”
After four hours of intensive questioning, RoboCop was forced to free Boddicker, failing to obtain any useful information about cocaine trafficking in the city.
“I tried it all,” RoboCop said. “I gave him his one free phone call, forced him into a game of Russian Roullette, let him try on my helmet and then skewered his hand to the table with my data spike, in that order. The creep wouldn’t crack.”
RoboCop blames his creator, the Omni Consumer Products megacorporation, for his predictable behavior during questioning.
“‘Good RoboCop, bad RoboCop’ is one of only two cross-examination programs OCP engineers loaded onto my cerebral hard-drive,” RoboCop said. “The other one is the ‘Morally Neutral RoboCop’ routine, but you can probably guess how effective that one is.”
