Here we present to you the best spots around town with the cheapest of drinks, the greasiest of food, the kitschy-est of the kitsch and the grit of 1972.
Karaoke Kid
How many times have your friends ridiculed you for wanting to just belt out your favorite song in a bar? Maybe Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” comes on and you just need to sing your heart out? And who can resist Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”? While in plain sight, at Karaoke Kid is a bar that’s often forgotten about and passed up.But Karaoke Kid’s smaller size and variety of Sake-related drinks and shots loosens everyone up and makes singing “Benny and the Jets” at the top of your lungs that much better. And the almost comically gimmicky decorations only add to the atmosphere. A song is just a dollar, so get in line. 614 University Ave.
Plaza Tavern
If you’re not one to particularly enjoy the Wando’s/ Whiskey/ KK scene, but you can’t afford the Capitol bars every night, Plaza might just be your very magical, special place. It’s the lazy way to see your friends Thursday night. You’ll run into people you like, no doubt. There’s no gimmicks here. Plaza is Plaza. Take it or leave it, Plaza won’t care either way. Plaza today is a spiten image of Plaza in 1973, and has no reason to change. Cheap, stiff drinks, greasy good Plazaburgers, a juke-box and a smorgasboard of games, and the booths are retro-comfy if you’re 5-foot-1-inch. What more do you need, really? (Full disclosure: The Cardinal staff is traditionally a group of goddamn hipsters.) 319 N Henry St.
Lava Lounge
Chances are you’ve walked past Lava Lounge a dozen times but never been inside. So if you ever feel like you need a change of pace, check this place out. The drinks are cheap, it’s never too crowded and there are lots of games. Going to Lava Lounge is like being transported to another world outside of Madison’s normal bar scene. It feels like that one bar from your hometown where everybody knows your name, except it’s probably likely that no one does. It’s small-town and fun, and if you bring your crew along, you’re bound to have a good time on a budget. They also play a lot of country music, so if that’s your dig this is your place. 461 W. Gilman St.
Paradise Lounge
Paradise Lounge is everything you’d ever want, if what you want is greasy good bar food, a hefty pitcher of Gumballhead and $1 pool— that is, if you’re down with the heavy metal in the background and the slightly older crowd. With booths down the side of the bar that can comfortably fit 1 ½ people on each side, you will definitely fit by your lonesome. 119 W. Main St.
Tiki Shack
Tiki Shack is one of the most underappreciated bars on State. It’s just seedy enough to let in underage women but near enough to the Capitol to attract an abundance of Madison’s young professionals. Calling the Tiki Shack a dive is both an exaggeration and an insult. The drinks are cheap-three dollar vodka lemonades, anyone?—the music is loud, and half-assed “island theme” makes a person feel they’re at the crappiest time share in Key West. We can pretend we’re on vacation while remembering cold Wisconsin reality is just a few steps out the door. 128 State St.
The Bayou
Do you enjoy dancing? Do you dislike people? Do you, for no reason whatsoever, have an affinity for jambalaya and artifical kitsch? Then The Bayou is your bar. Smackdab in the middle of a residential street, this New Orleans-themed bar is nearly an exact replica of the French Quarter, if you’ve never been to the French Quarter. Too bad Mardi Gras is just one week. This might be the strangest space in town. Even at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday, this bumpin’ party is all yours. With mixers so cheap, and literally no one there, it’s a mystery it stays open. While the bar is voodoo paradise, (fermenting snakes and taxidermic aligators), the upstairs is a classy promenade. Just like New Orleans. You can buy beads, too. But you can only try out the octo-beer bongs during the daylight hours, apparently, as to avoid getting too crazy. 117 S. Butler St.
Up North
Not intending to offend the Up North establishment, it’s really just the somewhat inexpensive drinks, complementary popcorn and peanuts, and comfortable lodge-like ambiance, that prompts us to call this place the least-divey “dive” around. It’s like you’re “up north,” quite literally. The cozy space is quiet, and the porch is pleasant, which they have outfitted with two TVs circa 1998. Admire the western saddle on display and the X-Men pinball. Maybe you’re in Eagle River, or maybe Eau Claire. Wherever you are, you might as well put your feet up, relax and enjoy the peaceful solitude. And Essen Haus is right next door. 150 S Blair St.
