Dear Alex,
I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. Help!
Single 4 Lyfe
Well hello, S4Lyfe, and thank you for both the question and your ninety’s style penname. Let’s get to it (to it…to it…to it…circa Michael Bolton with Lonely Island? Maybe I’m not the only person with this sense of humor?!)
First of all, and most importantly, you are not alone. The Health Promotion and Prevention Service’s at USC has found that while the number of sexual partners students have been with hasn’t changed in the past ten years, the number of committed relationships has decreased significantly. It would seem that fewer and fewer people are in relationships, right?
Well, no. Not if you’re single. If you’re single, every walk along the Lakeshore path seems like a lifetime of watching couples hold hands and lounge. Each night going out is a myriad of your friends and their boy- or girlfriends giggling and kissing in the middle of the dance floor together. It’s a rough life.
Luckily, as I said before, you aren’t the only one with this so-called problem. Many co-eds are on the prowl for a significant other, and even though it doesn’t always seem like it, this is a school of almost 40,000 students. The odds are ever in your favor; with so many options, there is almost no chance that there isn’t someone perfect for you that you’ve yet to meet!
The number of people on campus can seem daunting, impossible, really. Thankfully, there is an easy-peasy way to meet people that can help with every other aspect of your life as well. Your solution: Getting blackout drunk errday until you see a hot enough person to date!!! Omg, I’m lyk totally kidding!
Although I’m not judging if that’s your method, I think a physically healthier key to finding that special someone is getting involved around campus. Attractive, personable, and most importantly, conscious people hang out all over the place and are especially active in student orgs (such as Sex Out Loud… you volunteer as tribute!), club and intermural sports, and religious groups.
But for now, revel in your singlehood! While it can seem depressing that seemingly everyone around you has a main squeeze, it can be so exciting to have only one person to worry about: yourself.
It is a blast to be able to do whatever you want, when you want to, without having to worry about what your partner will think about it. This can range from party hook-ups to the little privacy you get when your roommates aren’t home. Having the freedom to spend an entire night alone after a hard week without considering what your would-be S.O. wants to do is a liberating feeling. Take advantage of your status and live it up! Having open options means the possibilities are endless.
The take-away point from this article has yet to be written (damn that columnist!): there is nothing wrong with you, S4Lyfe, nor with any person who has yet to find their better half. It doesn’t imply that you are picky or have “unrealistic standards,” although people may try to convince you that you do. It just means you haven’t found anyone compatible with your individuality yet. All hope is not lost, and us college students are so young with so much to gain!
As long as you put yourself out there and meet as many people as possible, you’ll find that ol’ ball and chain, that certain Yoko Ono, your favorite boo soon enough. Yes, I did have fun on Urban Dictionary, thank you very much.
That’s all for now, Badgers! Feel free to send me tips, requests and especially questions to sex@dailycardinal.com. Can’t wait to hear from you soon!
