The same guy who requested Planned Parenthoods across Wisconsin be drained of state and federal Maternal and Child Health funds is now on a mission to green light civil lawsuits against underage drinkers. Yup, state Rep. Andrew Jacque, R-Bellevue, helped author a bill that permits licensed liquor establishments to sue underage drinkers $1,000, all in the name of-according to a quote by Jacque in The Badger Herald-curbing a "problem that pervades our culture in epidemic proportions and deserves a vigorous response."
Yes, the underage drinker is insidiously tarring Wisconsin's hearty yet humble prohibitionist culture and, as a result, scarring blameless bars and liquor stores in epidemic proportions. Clearly, something needs to be done.
But is giving Wando's and Whiskey River the right to sue that poor, 19-year-old sophomore still living in Chamberlin because his mom won't let him move out of university housing, the answer? Probably not.
The only way a bill like this will have any effect on underage drinking is if awareness is spread like wildfire across the general population. If underagers are privy to these additional consequences, they may be more reluctant to purchase alcohol illegally. But the fact remains that 19-year-old Gordon from Chamberlin probably isn't reading this article and will continue to find himself drunk as a skunk Friday night.
That said, there are a few outcomes that will result from this legislation:
One, everything will go according to plan and little Gordy will get caught purchasing Hamm's at University Avenue Liquor. He will then get sued by UAL for $1,000 in damages, act as a example for other underage drinkers, scare off minors from liquor consumption altogether and restore the sanctity of Wisconsin's culture. Not likely.
Two, bars and liquor stores will take advantage of this naïve and generally uninformed target audience, advertise vigorously in certain college towns, take advantage of underage drinkers, sue, sue, sue, profit off these illegal offenses and go on with their merry way. Somewhat Likely.
Or three, many establishments will view the $1,000 reward a measly sum not worth the time and effort to appear on Judge Joe Brown. In return, they won't care about the new lawsuit privileges and keep doing what they're doing-selling booze and cleaning up puke. But who cares, right?
In the end, whether or not any of these three outcomes becomes reality is a moot point because there is one important characteristic each has in common: the bar or liquor store owner's incentive to profit from underage drinking-leaving kids with exorbitant consequences and the underage drinking culture in Wisconsin untouched.
Wisconsin Alcohol Policy Project spokesperson Julia Sherman told The Badger Herald, "the bill creates financial incentives for establishments with liquor licenses to profit from the illegal activity." And if businesses can earn money off underage drinkers, why would they want to this "illegal activity" to evaporate?
Not only do these lawsuits grant benefits to private business owners, but they impose financial horrors for the offender. For example, a student at UW-Madison caught drinking in a bar illegally is subject to face a criminal citation and fine from the police, a $1,000 lawsuit from the establishment AND an order to pay and attend an alcohol management class by the university itself. Sound like an overreaction?
If representatives are truly concerned about the health and well-being of Wisconsin's underage citizens, time and money would be better spent on education programs that start in school, when kids are young. Instead of giving bar-owners monetary rewards for catching underage drinkers, licensed liquor venders should be encouraged to contact authorities when finding someone under 21 in their establishment. This way, the state can punish individuals according to the law, which often gives kids the option to volunteer for the community and/or attend classes that truly have a positive impact on the individual.
After all, the last time I checked, Reilly's wasn't headquarters for Dog the Bounty Hunter. Liquor vendors aren't in business to enforce the law. We need to realize that kids are going to drink no matter what. Just like they are going to have sex no matter what. It's much more pragmatic and effective to advocate for programs that teach individuals about the facts about alcohol and how to be safe rather than fine them their life savings as a means to teach them a lesson.
But let's not forget who this lesson will really be teaching, because I don't know many 18-year-olds with 1,000 bucks lying around. So in advance, I highly suggest Jacque apologize to all of the moms and dads out there who will inevitably be footing this bill. And just in case he forgets, on behalf of all dumb politicians out there... I'm sorry Mom, sometimes party rock is just in the house.
Sam is a senior majoring in political science and journalism. Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.
